Dream. Pride. Life

CNY end

2012-02-08T19:54:00.002+08:00

Haha! I can't believe that I didn't even have a post during CNY which was like 15 days long.

This year was an unprecedented year. First, the reunion dinner (paternal side) on the eve was not at those traditional restuarants we used to go but instead it was at Marina Barrage. They all complained about the food. And again my those cousins never greet my parents. How rude! The most annoying and irritating thing was it ended so late that we didn't get to go to Mama's house for the second round (steamboat! I like!) and had to help my uncle search for his missing $500. (roll eyes to malaysia and roll back). This year it was raining cats and dogs and we didn't go squeeze (and get pissed off by inconsiderate people) at the Si Ma Lu. So we stayed at home. I was like thinking Wa! Water Dragon is coming 'cause of the rain.

First and second day were about the same as the usual years.

The exciting thing is... I received a CNY card from Michelle!! Haha! That's really one sort of cards I have never recieved. All except for that.

This is kinda a lucky year. I won like 2 out of 2 gambling session. But i lost to my mum and sister. Even the final night, I had a final net win despite losing a lot initially!!!

CNY

2012-01-30T02:46:00.001+08:00

I was waiting for CNY from the start of the year and here it is and soon to go. Time pass really fast and I am still jobless:( To be honest, I didn't have much fun. Life has been really boring. Nothing memorable has happened yet. I was hoping for a better life than this. Maybe my expectations are just too high. Even when I have nothing to do, I feel stress. Kinda funny huh. I really just want to start school now. I need a school life. However much I hate it, I have to admit I do miss homework. Not exams of course.

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Emo night

2012-01-27T00:18:00.001+08:00

Why are some parents so overprotective and some do not care enough? Is it really impossible to strike a balance? My parents are examples of the first. When I am going to get a job, they worry about I wouldn't like the job and will quit within a few days, not fulfilling the contact and have to make compensation. I am 18 already. I can bear responsibilities of my own. Even if I really don't like I will complete my contract. Why can't they believe I can do so? What is fun and educational to them is not the same for me! I find doing complicated things interesting, not waitressing or doing administrative work. Doing tough things is fun. I find learning to fulfill the requirements of a contract educational though others don't. It means me bear responsibility for my own acts. The worst part is they constantly think I can't protect myself. Sometimes they will compare us with other kids like how brave and daring they are, but have they thought that it was them who are hindering us. They trying to live vicariously through us even if they don't admit. They try to control everything we do. Like what I study, my lifestyle etc. I don't feel like me anymore. And yes, I hate this life.

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2012-01-17T20:32:00.001+08:00

Now that she lost her phone(I don't know If she gotten another one, I feel so empty because we don't chat anymore. Maybe another reason is I don't have a job and have nothing to do. Maybe if I gotten a job and meet someone else, I will stop thinking. Just like that and I lost a good friend, a confidante who listens to my warped logic and crap.

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2012-01-10T22:27:00.002+08:00

Unfortunately, I am currently still unemployed. That means I can't spend too much money yet. That's kinda sad because the other day I saw a hat that was to my liking but I didn't want to over spend yet so I didn't buy it.

I finally went to watch Sherlock Holmes 2. It was a great show, so was I. I dropped half a pack of popcorns onto the floor and leaving me nothing to eat halfway through the movie. Cherynn kept laughing at me. I think the act was more memorable than the show itself. I spent the next many hours shopping with them to find my CNY clothes but I returned empty handed. I guess I was just unwilling to spend my own money. You will know why later. About 8, I went to find my secondary school classmates at Just Acia. Oh ya I had the 1 for 1 free Fish and Cheese at Manhattan Fish Market. We did a lot of catching up. Only 16 people turned up out of the 40 other classmates I have. All the 6 guys turned up. Shame on us girls! We almost went to the pub or went drinking when it was later but after Ee Shuen suggested bowling, we went to play pool which was opposite since there were no empty lanes. I left at 11 and was out for more than 12 hours.

The next day, I went shopping with my family and completed my shopping in 2 hours time. I concluded it was the money that was stopping me though not entirely. I found my ideal attire at Orchard. Like the black formal looking shorts and the red shirt. Damn cool! It was better than the idea I have in mind.

Today, I ditched the facilitator interview for another one which was arranged in a rush. Although this job is paid $7 only, it is probably less of a hard work than the mobile phone promoter job, the less frequent pay facilitator job and the have to work during CNY highly paid call centre job even though it was both for Starhub.

Probably the last post of 2011

2011-12-30T01:01:00.001+08:00

Since I wouldn't be in Singapore on 31st December, I guess I will have to write my last post today. Although I haven't sleep, it's 30th now. A day wouldn't make much a diff.

2011 is a very different year from 2010. 2010 is full of fun. I wouldn't say 2011 is not but there is a major difference. When it was 2010, the fun is like in everything. Everything I do. Even boring school days are exciting, unpredictable and without much work load. I get to have fun before season, during season, after season. I find fun even in trainings 'cause some are just so funny.

Maybe I have gotten used to the life, 2011 is not filled with such fun. Pre season was stressful when I had to juggle between basketball, studies and the team. I had to keep improve to be the pillar of the team, deal with all the miscellaneous administrative stuff, make the team more bonded, help my teammates improve when I am so screwed, settle conflicts(which half of the time I am involved), catch up with my work and handle my mum( more like quarrel. This year there were a lot of crying (me). Too much stress that I can't handle. (This shows why the first half of the year I didn't have time to think about...) Even during season, everything didn't ran smoothly as we thought. We peaked during the camp and nt the season. My second peak came on the first match with Raffles. Not during finals... Hate it. But all this made me learn how to appreciate the tines we had as a team when we won as a team, truly. We are full of loopholes. But when we do our individual part and start everything from defence. We are madness! Then it came. The boring laborious studying part. OK. It wasn't that horrible. There were some funny moments during June holidays and even slightly before. I got to say I was a little over reacting when I really got a chance to talk to Michelle. The first real conversation was when we were making Cherynn's birthday scrap book. I admit I went to the Ares fact outing partly because of her. (Man... I am a stalker) Then during June holiday when I was studying in school with Charmaine I kept seeing her around. So I took a seat outside the reading room. OMG joke! Then came the chiong television part when I didn't go to school to mug. But the last week I did study. OK but that explains my bt2 results. Since usually effort equates result. From then on, I started to study a bit till a month before Prelims. The hard core part came. Really mug. On someday August. I am sure it's a Friday. After playing ball, I had to wait for my dad to fetch me. He made me waited till like 10 which was almost an hour wait. She accompany me! It was kinda still the seventh month. I suggested to go for a night tour around school. She was like quite scared of dark?? But we still went ahead. Then my dad sent her home. Wth... Jam. I had to reach home at 11. We were on some topic but she got cut off. So I asked for a number from my best business partner(I was supposed to be the boos don't know what happened). So we chat from then on. I paiseh don't wanna let ppl knw. I think Charmaine and someone else knew until it started spreading. Oh Ya. Big mouth Cherylin saw my phone. Then Nicole and so on knew. Because she is a loudspeaker. Then came our nice gift for MW for teacher's day. We did a book(forgot ehat it is called). Then... I gt knocked down by a car... The best part is... I survived it with minor injury. The most major was a sprain of my right wrist. It's a big thing since prelims were just the week after. Special arrangements were made so that I could have extra time. I had to keep going to check ups, physiotherapy and wear a brace. The brace was cool at first before it became a haste.I would say my wrist is 100% recovered maybe 90-95%. It is all different after a sprain. Oh yeah! Did I say I had to go for x ray? The last time I went was when I was 9 and had bronchitis. That's like 9 years ago! Actually I went for past vs present to help Siao Hui because initially then was 1 less girl in their team. MAF was fun! I get to spend some time with ahem! I bought like lots of candles until we didn't knw what to do with it after the event. So then Prelims came. Even after Prelims, it was study and study for A levels. A small consolation was to be referees for the FOS. It was damn fun!!! Well compared to studying. Then here comes A levels. It was a long one month. I don't even wanna remember how I spend the time mugging and watching TV as my only entertainment. I swear I mug my ass off. Then it was all the parties. Drinking. Mahjong. Then prom. And I am still jobless when everyone else found a job. Damn! I will be at getting doing the countdown. Don't send me new year greetings.

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Orientals

2011-12-24T17:33:00.000+08:00

AFTER Asss

2011-12-22T22:47:00.002+08:00

Now that prom is over, I feel so restless. Everyday feels like just another boring day. I had been trying to look for a job but the ones the job agency offers me doesn't pay well. I don't know if I shoud take up the job. If I take, I wouldn't have time to go back to Hwa Chong. And this makes me rather sad:( I really want the relief teaching job. This way I can work, earn money and continue to play at the same time. It's like the perfect job for me. I don't want an office hour job. It's so boring. No more time for visits. No more time for basketball. Worst of all, poor pay. Argh!!!!

Lines that express my feeling

2011-12-04T22:36:00.002+08:00

我爱你真的是很爱你，所以想就这样继续爱下去。

像笑来伪装掉下的眼泪
想哭来试探自己麻痹了没
全世界好像只有我疲惫
天灰灰会不会让我忘了你是谁
也许事与愿违

一颗心到现在还爱在抽痛
回到当初爱你的时空

不知不觉你已经离开我
不知不觉我跟了这节奏
没有你以后我灵魂时空
我的世界已狂风暴雨
爱情来得太快就像龙卷风
我不能在想
爱情走得太快就像龙卷风
不能承受我已无处可躲
我不要在想我不要在想我不要在想你

爱我别走如果你说你不爱我
不要听见你真的说出口
再给我多一点温柔

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点
蜡烛点了寂寞亮了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你带一点痛

心里的雨倾盆的下也沾不湿她的发
心里的雨倾盆的下却始终淋不到她

寂寞下手毫无分寸
黑夜已在空中盘旋
想回到过去
羞去的脸带有一点稚气
想看你看的世界
想在你梦的画面

断了的弦再怎么练
我的感觉你已听不见

感情没有对手是你跟自己下棋
还来不及仔仔细细描述我如何爱你
这感觉已经不对我最后才了解

爱是不是不开口才珍贵
再给我两分钟让我把记忆结成冰

我的快乐是你想你想到都会笑
就是开不了口让她知道
我一定会呵护着你也逗你笑
整颗心悬在半空我只能够远远看着

只有你能听得到
我想我是太过依赖在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊我舍不得离开

我掉进爱情悬崖跌太深爬不出来
下降的速度太快来不及踏上未来

用几处感觉将一束白色玫瑰你将爱退回
我不落泪忍着感觉
哭就了会累也只是别人的以为
我落泪情绪零碎
门外的蔷薇带刺伤人得很直接

爱一个人没爱到难道就会怎么样
人生已经如此的艰难
有些事情就不要拆穿

你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦
我不要你离开我
因为有你给我勇气给我用不完的运气
我对你再好再亲密也不能在一起

我想要学会自我催眠
痛觉会少一些
潜意识作祟想着想到失眠

除此之外我要你明白
你的笑我真是喜欢看
于是我一次又一次等待
And if you need somebody
我确定我会在不会走开

爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易不顾一切满是伤痕
我太笨明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但是我还奋不顾身
可能在爱里面这样算笨
但是我不愿放弃这里面一点点可能
宁愿笨也不想要悔恨

2011-12-04T22:31:00.001+08:00

冲动

忍不住想要爱你的冲动
不确定你属于我会有点寂寞
你给的幸福在我心中自由走动
抚平我每一个伤口
忍不住想要吻你的冲动
不确定我的执着能让你感动
我只能相信自己感受不怕失落
关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂

1st December

2011-12-02T14:15:00.006+08:00

We played till a little mad until Liyi totally gone. I was supposed to be taking care of her and listen to her nonsense (it make sense until she keep repeating and I gt quite annoyed). End up after being nt so high 'cause the effect wear off, I drank a cup of pure vodka 40% with an empty stomach.That got me very very dizzy. That was the first time I feel like I might get drunk. I dipped my head into a hot water basin and wash my head with cold water to keep myself a more awake.

But it turns out that I got so emotional after that. I cried like tomorrow wasn't going to come. I cried out all my unhappiness. I mustered the courage to 表白. I wasn't drunk. I was more sober then I ever was. Hiding behind the mask of a drunkard, I showed my true feelings. I am such a weak person. I act tough for the past 18 years of my life. I act like I am a happy go lucky person. I act like I never cared about how people ever look at me. But it's all a lie. I hate who I am because my life is always being controlled by others. I have to live up to people's expectation. I am a coward. Even though I know this is not gonna make my life happy, I have always accepted it.

喜欢一个人好痛苦。 What is 不要管我了?! If I could do so, I wouldn't be in such misery. And don't apologise. If it's anyone fault, it's mine. By saying it out, it destroys our friendship. It's all my fault. 喜欢一个人没错，不喜欢一个人也没错. 错的是不会处理这一切的人. And it turns out always to be me. It's all my 一厢情愿. Always. Why is it like this? I am always repeating the same mistake. Fall for people who I shouldn't. Even if I know this is never gonna end well, I will still always be there. Always acting like a moron. 我以为我总想清楚。不由自主恍恍惚惚又走回头路。

爱情好像流沙，心里的牵挂，不愿放下。让我这样吧！爱情好像流沙，明知该躲它，无法自拔。

心被占据，却苦无一。是你让我着了迷
因为爱过才知情多浓浓得发痛在心中
真真为你心有独钟，因为有你世界变不同。笑我太傻太懵懂或爱得太重，只为相信我自己能永远对你心有独钟。

就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱。

怎么隐藏我的悲伤？
想要对你说的不敢说的爱会不会有人可以明白？
我会发着呆，让后忘记你，接着紧紧闭上眼。想着哪一天会有人代替，让我不在想念你。
我会发着呆，让后微微笑，接着紧紧闭上眼。又响了一遍你温柔的脸，在我忘记之前。

Coming to an end

2011-11-24T21:14:00.001+08:00

A level is finally coming to an end. I should be very happy, planning what to do after the last paper. But there is this weird feeling. I feel kinda lost. The deadline I set for myself is nearing. Sometimes I feel like I finally have the courage to face somethings. But at the end of the day, I will just lose my courage. It's like I suddenly lose all the strength to face the consequences.

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2011-11-11T13:25:00.001+08:00

我用琴键移动决定你一生的内容
黑帽戴上穿着横条毛衣再配上手套
接着走在一遍雾里我不是那佛莱迪
所以别怕我偷偷摸摸走进你梦里
我用音乐这武器进入你梦里指导你演戏
传来一声哎呦睡了太久睡了太熟
小心秘密被我偷走
心事泄漏全被我看透
不过请别担心我不是李奥纳多
不会一层又一层的把梦偷偷盗走
我弹琴设陷阱向你缓缓的逼近
你的伤心由我决定
我弹琴谈感情让你慢慢的上瘾
你的爱情已经注定
我弹琴设陷阱向你缓缓的逼近
你的伤心由我决定
我弹琴谈感情让你慢慢的上瘾
你的爱情已经注定

这场赌局请相信我你很难赢
场景就像一场豪华的梦境
歌声魅影你深深的被吸引
闭上眼睛脑海风景已经开始飞行
意志再再坚定再多冷静再多任性
你也无法去抵抗我所弹的热情
跟着节奏温柔跟着我让旋律自由
一遍又一遍的诱惑爱上我是种生活

我用琴键移动决定你一生的内容

我弹琴设陷阱向你缓缓的逼近
你的伤心由我决定
我弹琴谈感情让你慢慢的上瘾
你的爱情已经注定
我弹琴设陷阱向你缓缓的逼近
你的伤心由我决定
我弹琴谈感情让你慢慢的上瘾
你的爱情已经注定
我用琴键移动
（你的伤心由我决定）
决定你一生的内容
（你的爱情已经注定）
我用琴键移动
（你的伤心由我决定）
决定你一生的内容
（你的爱情已经注定）

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Unlucky but lucky day

2011-11-11T13:21:00.001+08:00

Finally the first week of A levels have passed.
I was pretty unlucky today. First, it started off with my dad's car couldn't start. So I had to take a cab to school. At that point of time I was still calm because I know I have sufficient time.
Next, I realised I forgot to bring my G.C. for the paper! Math! I was panicking and totally dumbfounded. Fortunately, Charmaine had a spare G.C.. We change one of the battery so that there is sufficient energy for the G.C. to on.
However, 15mins into the paper, it displayed low battery. Well, so I used it only when necessary. But half way through the paper when I left more than 30 marks required G.C. since it's statistics questions using normal calculator or the table will be super tedious. I was in a state of shock, panic and horror!
Even so, I managed to calm myself down and deal with questions that do not require G.C. and complete steps that do not need G.C. so that at least I can get method marks. Luckily, when I tried to on it again, it managed to work for me to get the answers although it died quickly. Completing the paper was like a battle against the G.C. and time.
After that, my friends asked me why I didn't ask the invigilators to let me borrow batteries or G.C. (even Ms He asked too). I thought they wouldn't provide batteries:(
Phew~ after so much twists and turns, I completed the paper safely. I think it can save my paper 1.

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Mine Mine

2011-11-04T14:23:00.002+08:00

沒有你的生活我開始寫小說
Mei you ni de sheng huo wo kai shi xie xiao shuo
好多畫面好多靈感我要把稿費都給你
Hao duo hua mian hao duo ling gan wo yao ba gao fei dou gei ni
巷口不小心經過你的車子依舊停在紅線
Xiang kou bu xiao xin jing guo ni de che zi yi jiu ting zai hong xian
幫你繳罰單你叫我別管我才想到我們已經分開
Bang ni jiao fa dan ni jiao wo bie guan wo cai xiang dao wo men yi jing fen kai

*想起那一個夏天那不是那不是那是冬天
Xiang qi na yi ge xia tian na bu shi na bu shi na shi dong tian
想起你生氣的臉每天就像冬天唉唉唉
Xiang qi ni sheng qi de lian mei tian jiu xiang dong tian ai ai ai
你說那是愛愛愛
Ni shuo na shi ai ai ai

誰該堅強起來月亮還是太陽
Shui gai jian qiang qi lai yue liang hai shi tai yang
是誰遮了誰是誰都會依賴
Shi shui zhe le shui shi shui du hui yi lai
你說已分開為什麼還要幫你撐傘
Ni shuo yi fen kai wei shen me hai yao bang ni cheng san

[Chorus]
Coz baby you are Mine Mine
Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine
Mine Mine
Mine Mine Mine Mine Min
e太快就承認认我真的很想你
Tai kuai jiu cheng ren wo zhen de hen xiang ni
會不會沒有男子氣概
Hui bu hui mei you nan zi qi gai

You say Bye Bye
Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye
Oh Bye Bye
Bye Bye Bye Bye Bye
拆開我的心隨你看滿滿的都是愛
Chai kai wo de xin sui ni kan man man de dou shi ai

我的眼皮跳一下代表你在想我
Wo de yan pi tiao yi xia dai biao ni zai xiang wo
我的耳朵癢一下代表你在講我壞話
Wo de er duo yang yi xia dai biao ni zai jiang wo huai hua
我沒這麼不好吧不用跟朋友說吧
Wo mei zhe me bu hao ba bu yong gen peng you shuo ba
如果以後和好了看到你朋友不是很尷尬
Ru guo yi hou he hao le kan dao ni peng you bu shi hen gan ga

Repeat *

騙誰我說的氣話都收回
Pian shui wo shuo de qi hua dou shou hui
我寫的小說根本是空白黑夜
Wo xie de xiao shuo gen ben shi kong bai hei ye
你說既然已分開為何還要幫你撐傘
Ni shuo ji ran yi fen kai wei he hai yao bang ni cheng san

嘜嘜你嘜擱嘜擱偷偷離開
Mai mai lu mai go mai go thau thau li khui
嘜嘜你嘜擱嘜擱偷偷離開
Mai mai lu mai go mai go thau thau li khui
嘜驚我不會放你一人治那
Mai kia wo bu hui pang ni ji rang di na
你想祙有人靠有人會疼
Ni xiang mei you ren kao you ren hue tia

**嘜吶你雨傘雨傘趕緊打開
Mai na li hoo suann hoo suann kuann kin ta khui
嘜吶你雨傘雨傘趕緊打開
Mai na li hoo suann hoo suann kuann kin ta khui
嘜鬧落大雨你淋雨我艱苦
Mai nau loh tua hoo li lim hoo gua kan khoo
落大雨我没你會艱苦
Loh tua hoo wa bo li e kan khoo

Centre of my world

2011-10-24T21:11:00.001+08:00

公转自转
我绕着你打转
一圈一圈公转
在人与人的银河
爱让我不间断
我因为你而转
一圈一圈自转
Oh Baby 我的世界明暗
因为思念使然

虽然这样的形容有一些简单俗套
我想我说你是我的太阳
但是你对我来说真的有如此大的影响
心情有黑夜白天之差
爱是这么自然
延伸出丰富感想
我像地球一样你在我心思中央

天长地久是神话我知道
但我却天真盼望我傻吗

ⓨⓞⓤ ⓐⓡⓔ ⓐⓣ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓒⓔⓝⓣⓡⓔ ⓞⓕ ⓜⓨ ⓦⓞⓡⓛⓓ. ⓜⓨ ⓛⓘⓕⓔ ⓓⓞⓝ'ⓣ ⓡⓔⓥⓞⓛⓥⓔ ⓐⓡⓞⓤⓝⓓ , ⓨⓔⓣ ⓜⓨ ⓜⓘⓝⓓ ⓘⓢ. ⓐⓝⓓ ⓐⓛⓛ ⓘ ⓓⓞ ⓘⓢ 绕着你打转.

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In the midst of studying

2011-10-22T19:56:00.001+08:00

It's after prelims for so long and I am trying very hard to mug as much for 'A's. But the more I wanna remember stuff the more I forget. It's like I can't improve anymore. Demoralizing... All I feel like doing is play. Play and play.

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明天以后

2011-10-01T19:06:00.001+08:00

泳:在你的记忆里面有一个我
在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过
难过过了天晴朗了我就走
林: 你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦
在你的面前我不必保留
还来不及对你说
迟到的我的心动
泳:你的好你的坏
林: 我的脾气你最懂
泳:我不要你心疼我
（林: 我不要你离开我）
合:明天的以后我们会懂
失恋的挫折让人变更成熟
泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情
林: 因为有你
给我勇气给我用不完的运气
林: 其实也想好好爱你
泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心
（林: 我不怕会伤心）
合: 对不起我对你
再好再亲密都不能在一起
林: 最后看你在别人怀里
泳:有天我会找到我的唯一
（林: 我并不是你的唯一）
合: 还微笑祝福你
林: 你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦
在你的面前我不必保留
泳:我从来没对你说压抑的
我的心动
林: 我的好我的坏我的脾气你最懂
泳:我不要你来心疼我
合:明天的以后我们会懂
失恋的挫折让人变更成熟
泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情
林: 因为有你
给我勇气给我用不完的运气
林: 其实也想好好爱你
泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心
（林: 我不怕会伤心）
合: 对不起我对你
再好再亲密都不能在一起
林: 最后看你在别人怀里
泳:有天我会找到我的唯一
（林: 我并不是你的唯一）
合: 还微笑祝福你
泳:爱情总让人折磨
林: 所以我们才选择
合: 做比情人更好的朋友
泳:我对你感觉胜过爱情
林: 因为有你
给我勇气给我用不完的运气
林: 其实也想好好爱你
泳:只怕到最后不小心让你伤心
（林: 我不怕会伤心）
合: 对不起我对你
再好再亲密都不能在一起
林: 最后看你在别人怀里
泳:有天我会找到我的唯一
（林: 我并不是你的唯一）
合: 还微笑祝福你

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Graduation Video 10S61

2011-09-28T14:42:00.002+08:00

Post Prelims

2011-09-26T22:27:00.001+08:00

I had been to kbox, party world so many times but this is the first time I ever had 2 rooms. It's pretty hilarious. 2 rooms doesn't mean double the singing time. I kinda missed some of the songs I wanna sing. At first, it started out as 2 rooms with mixed songs, english and chinese. Then, my room became chinese and the other beong english. Somehow aft some time, my side became full of english songs so I moved over to the other side which happened to be all the chinese song. Funny ah!!! There were a few moments of craziness la. Like 霍元甲，周大侠，第一天，曹操, fireworks and I can't remember. I wonder where singers get the stamina to sing to the whole stadium for hours with dance and maintaining their good voice. Just the singing and jumping about 1 song can kill.

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

2011-09-17T23:03:00.001+08:00

情人总分分和和可是我们却越爱越深
认识你让我的幸福如此悦耳
能不能不要切歌继续唱我们的歌
让感动一辈子都记得

眼看着你心想着你就像贴近自己
想着想着就好像你像你一样甜蜜
是不是爱你就会变成你 wooh yeah
爱你就等于爱自己 mm well all right.

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PVSP AND AIDEN'S BIRTHDAY

2011-09-11T22:03:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was a packed day for me. I had to go to school really early like 8.30 to sign indemnity form for pvsp. My teammates were David (some senior I played against last yr), wee kiat, Yuan Xi, Marcus, Seow Hui and some soccer girl I dun rmb her name. I helped them played 2 games. Quite unlucky, we had 1 walkover game (I rather play) and we had to keep waiting because one team keep going for their vb game and didn't come back. David is an awesome defender, wee kiat moves the ball around super fast, Seow hui damn gd too. Marcus catches the ball really well (on the chair). Yuan Xi dunnid to say la. Stand on chair, he own. Defend oso own. Shoot oso nt bad. Our team is power. But I didn't finish the rd and left. I heard they gt 3rd. Lost to the Soo family team.

Tuition was hilarious too. There was another teacher other than Mrs Ip though. I know Eeling very unhappy that Mrs Ip get the 3.30 class to join and then get another teacher in to teach half way but... I think sometimes the joint class is due to circumstance. A growing amount of people is hard to handle for herself too. I dunno how to say it but this kinda thing, once or twice I am fine with it.

Then I had to rush down to Ivy's house. When I reach, I was the first few guests. There were then an inflow of babies, nt even young kids but babies. They are so hard to pacify! They are cute but when they cry, I really wanna slap them. Not like I can talk sense into them.

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2011-09-09T12:49:00.001+08:00

那你和我有什么差别？你也是把感情放在第一位，只是主角不是我。

Can't seem to focus (9/9/11)

2011-09-07T16:17:00.003+08:00

Recently, my attention span is really short. Unless really simulate examination condition, I can't sit down and study for more than an hour. I will go crazy at this state. What made it worse is writing with this stupid broken hand. It is realy hard to write with the brace but even with the brace, it feels really awkward. It feels like I don't know how to write normally already. Maybe it is because I had been trying to write in a way my wrist will not hurt or I am writing like how I am with the brace.

These few days, I can't get to sleep and I am feeling quite emo~ again. Maybe, it is because I had been listening to the songs by Yiruma and Sakomoto Ryuichi. All these piano pieces are so freaking sad and emo. Even the few songs I am obsessed with are a little more towards the slow, R&B style, not the usual noisy songs I am listening.

Ah! My headache is coming back! For the past 1 week, I had been having persistent headaches. At first, I thought it was due to my flu, but now the flu is long gone. My head still hurts badly. So, I concluded it was due to my spectacles because for the past 1 week Ihaven't been wearing contact lenses. But now even with the lenses, my head still hurt a bit. Listening too much to my headphone??? But that's today only. Could it really be due to the impact from the car accident? Ah! I hope it is not.

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New laptop!!!

2011-09-05T10:03:00.001+08:00

Yeah! Finally gotten a laptop of my own! (ok… my mum will use it to watch shows.) It’s pretty nice. It is blue in colour. What I like about it is it has high graphic. That mean after ‘A’s when I wanna play games on it, it will be super clear! Also, the shows on it will be really clear. But the process of getting it was horrible. The comex show was packed with people. The promoter almost blew my head up. He was SHOUTING into the mic and I was so near the speaker. It just boom into my ears! The worst part is the connection between the mic and speaker was bad, so there were a lot of eeekkk noise. Luckily, my mum insisted that we don’t eat at Marina Square. There were super lot of people. Oh! But then again, if we eat there, we will shop there and I might get to see Mich! That’s totally besides the point. Haha! And I gotten a external hard drive at $65. I feel so lucky but so cheated at the same time. It was originally $99, then it cut to $79. Right before I wanted to buy it, they just change to $65. Am I lucky or what? However, the same store, selling another external hard drive (no brand) at $59 with 10 sets left! Never mind. At least mine have brand, it’s Toshiba. And at least, it is nicer than the black box.

Tomorrow I have to go X-ray my hand. It feels quite ok. Still the same, no heavy stuff and it hurts when I turn my wrist. So if I am typing like what I am doing now, I can only use my fingers or use mainly my left hand. Writing is quite ok unless for long period of time.

car accident

2011-09-01T19:21:00.001+08:00

I gt knocked down by a car today. So unfortunate but fortunately I was nt badly injured. Haha!!

I was happily ready to go home and eat my macs meal and was eating my ice cream when I saw the traffic light turned from red man to green man. So I ran. But to my horror, the car turning in did not see the pedestrian, that's me. Both of us couldn't stop in time and... Flesh vs metal. Boom. The car hit my right leg and sent me flying(a bit). I landed on my joints and protected my head. The driver was very nice. He quickly rush out of his car to tend to my wounds. He checked whether I could walk. When he was sure I could walk to the pavement. He drove his car to park somewhere and rushed to check whether I was really alright. He insisted I go for a check up.
Then, a civil defence man came along. He helped me dress my wound and came to understand the situation. Another civil defence in charge came to take care of the situation. The driver quickly called to postpone his operation. He is a nice man. He hurried and gave me his details so that I could contact him after the incident. The civil defence man recorded the incident and details and advised me on what to do. The driver only left when he was sure my dad was coming and nearby. The civil defence man accompanied me to wait for the traffic police to record the incident and for my dad to send me to hospital.
I spent 1.5h in the hospital just to check if I had any breaking bones or fracture and dressed my wounds. I even had a jab to vaccine me from infection. The waiting is crazy.
Thanks for everyone who showed concern. I am fine and still alive. Just some scratches and abrasion. No internal injuries:)

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Last schooling Friday after school

2011-08-21T22:00:00.001+08:00

Played very long after school on Friday. Volleyball, netball and basketball! My whole body was aching badly. We, basketballers, and the j1 netballers plus Liyi were in a team. We played 4 quarters and lost 3 sets :(. Then we played basketball again. But I offended quite some guys when I cleared the court. They probably hated me. All I could remember was tired tired tired.

I was so tired that I didn't eat dinner with yunzhen they'all. Didn't quite have dinner. Called my dad to fetch me bit he could only come at nine. So I waited till nine. Watched jaime they'all play bball. After a while I joined them. But we played a short while only. Suddenly, someone offed the court lights, Michelle was like so scared wanna run back to squash court. Jingwen and I were like slowly strolling. End up we lie down and watch stars on the court.

After which I thought like wow nine, my dad is coming. He called and tell me oh no, he can only come at 10. That's like 1 hour but 塞翁失马. Michelle accompanied me for the whole hour because she don't wanna go home so early.

So I suggested we go nightwalk around the school, anyway 1 hour is really long. So we really walked. Michelle damn funny! She super afraid of dark. The most exciting part was I was saying my seven month scary experience to her. Haha!! Just freak her out. We walked to high school and back. I was just trying to freak her out. Haha!!! But not very successful. Got one stretch very dark. She wanna walk fast but I was like bloody tired so I said my phone got flash light. But the max intensity wasn't very bright and by the time I on it we almost finish the stretch. But I realised at night school still have a lot of people. So we finished walking and talk for 10 mins or so.
At first, I just want my dad to send her to bus stop. At least don't need to walk. But it was like 10 plus, so my dad decided to just send her home. We kept talking rubbish in the car. And my dad keep asking her about what there looks like now. He even say she brave sia. Wa! I almost p-eng. She brave! I got bao zi dan already!

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Cruel but reality

2011-08-12T21:43:00.001+08:00

Today, I asked Joy and Chuan Ling a question I personally feel quite cruel. I asked if now you know that next year you will not get into the team (considering this year they never get into team), will they ever regret that they chose to stick to netball at the start of the year? For me, I will never know my true feelings on such situation. Sounds arrogant but the fact is that until now I have never been in such a situation. Their answers are the same. There will be disappointment but they will accept the fact that their teammates are better. They will not regret the choice because from the start when they made the decision, they knew there will be sacrifices.

Before Chuan Ling said that, from their eyes and actions, I could see some fear in them that that may happen. But when they said that that may be inevitable if they had tried their best but some others are just more talented. That sounded like they resign to fate and let fate decide the final decision. But I never believe in restraints due to physical abilities. It is all whether they see the light. Many things can be trained. In netball and basketball, there are all designated roles for different people. In netball is defence, offence and shooting. In basketball, we have shorter people for point guards, because they are closer to the ground they can control the ball better. Even people like Michelle who ain't very fast and is short, she has the touch and feel for shooting. And there are even tall point guards too. I don't see how physical limits can limit a lot. Ok. This is totally out of point.

Back to the question, when she replied that they were prepared for sacrifices. Thinking deeper, actually if it is akin to asking me if my life in HC was screwed up such as bad results, basketball cmi will I still make the choice. I would have given the same answer as they did and maybe not.

'If'... What a word. Something that I will never know. If only, there is parallel worlds and I have knowledge about the other me, it will be so good for me to make decisions. 'If' again. Haha!

Anyway, they didn't find this a cruel question. Qing Ying said it is like asking a reality question.

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Bus ride

2011-08-05T19:19:00.001+08:00

A peak hour bus ride has shown me a lot of things. When I was young and ignorant may be I will be pissed at what I did today.
A peak hour bus ride has shown me that the more educated, no, high academic qualifications, the more inconsiderate we are. A bus filled with 'educated' ppl and workers. But yet the workers are more considerate. How is this possible? Don't give excuses like I was too preoccupied with my phone etc. There was clearly a huge space in the middle and the back. If the bus managed to get 1 more passenger it will mean that 1 less person has to waste time waiting for bus. Imagine if you were the poor person who cannot get up the bus and have to wait another half an hour. Don't blame the bus services blame those so called educated ppl.
Shouldn't it be since we receive more education, we should be more considerate and should have better moral values. Doing things at others expense should not be the way. How can we call ourselves as educated ppl when we don't even have simple moral values even a child have? It is not like we are not being taught in school or what. Ppl should start reflecting.

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每天爱你多一些

2011-08-02T19:50:00.001+08:00

Chorus:
而每过一天每一天这醉者
便爱你多些再多些至满泻
我发觉我最爱与你编写
以后明天的深夜

而每过一天每一天这醉者
便爱你多些再多些至满泻
我最爱你与我这生一起
那惧明天风高路斜

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Daily boring life

2011-08-02T19:47:00.001+08:00

School day as usual. But right before I left school, a few funny things occurred. First is the 50cent incident. I spotted a 50cents on the OAC bench. Well, finders keepers. So I took it. However, Yun Zhen and Charmaine insisted they saw it too so we should share the money. (Hello people, It's nt 50bucks It's 50cents). In the end we bought an prep for 40cents and share. One each, just nice.
Then we saw a pigeon at the playground. It was sitting there as though it was injured so we thought maybe let's go help it. Someone even said it was sleeping. As I approached closer, it sit up. It used one of its leg to stand up and then we saw both its legs. Next, it flew away. That stupid fat bird con our feelings!!!

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Another of my rest day

2011-07-29T23:16:00.001+08:00

I was supposed to had chemistry consultation at 2.10 today. But it was rearranged to 3.10. I was so nice! Seriously! I helped Mrs Lim to run errand. So I had consult together with Ai Leng. She just come and crash consult since she didn't know how to do the qns I asked too.

It was like almost 4 when it ended and I was going to brain dead. So I went to squash court. But I couldn't find Lynn and Liyi:( so I ended up talking nonsense to the netballers. Michael Wong wasn't in school today so I became their coach for the day. Call me 李教练. Lol! I made most ppl call me that today. After training them for a while, I turn to play netball. At first, I was only to suggest to them creative( didn't turn out to be) abs exercise. Only 1 probably they didn't do before. End up, I was to do it with them. Poor abs!

After that we played half court netball. Liyi kept calling me burden:( I didn't know the strict rules alright?! It was kinda fun. We played a lot! I felt so bad when I make it worse when I tried to help Hoon pick ball. (It landed on Michelle's head) Clumsy me!!!!I told my mum I was going to eat dinner so I need them to accompany me for dinner(it's like they have to eat right!). Anyway, they helped me finish up the cupcake Sing Qing gave me. It was epic when we were walking out. I was like singing and bringing 4 little children out (1 yr younger nia). They were so mean ok! Ostracise me when I sang. Not that bad alright!!! Then Zi Wei kept harping on the heart shatter thingy. Come on! The first time was just for entertainment. I don't really get hurt for that kind of rejection. But I pity them. They have to listen to my lao ren story for the entire dinner. Like really lao ren. Ok! Good laugh at my secondary prom outfit. Not like they saw the entire thing. They just imagine and they can almost die laugh at it. WTH!!! So they just keep laugh at me. That's it! I have became a big joke. But nvm, it was a happy day for me:))) (that's nt my double chin!)

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2011-07-18T17:22:00.001+08:00

Last thursday was Hoon's birthday. They made Michelle give me the cake. WTH! Enough already!

How about giving me some luck?

2011-07-13T20:37:00.001+08:00

I am so out of luck yesterday. Yesterday was such a disastrous day.
During chemistry practical period, while I was happily trying to see the recorded results written on Ai Leng's paper, something dangerous happened. I felt a sharp pain on the back of my neck. It was Nelson's chemicals that spilled out of his test tube while he was heating them. That painful feeling was obvious a scalding. So they quickly wet some tissue to cool down the burn. It was damn funny. I had so many wet tissues that it wet my shirt and even dropped in. Haha!!! Ok.. when it dried up they helped me put some ointment. Now there is a wound that looks like some liquid dripping down. Best part is I accidentally burst the blister today.
Something dumb happened after that. When I was going to leave fishtank with my hands full, I leaned on the door to open it. Someone at the side opened it and didn't tell me to look out! I almost fell. Wth!

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Feels like Post Blocks

2011-07-01T20:03:00.001+08:00

This is the end of the first week of blocks yet it feels like the end of blocks. Went to play balls after the chemistry paper. The paper was horrible. I feel like I can do it to a certain extent if I had sufficient time to recall and craft what I learn into the answer. But there is an obvious lack of time that kills me.

And so let's talk about balling. It's way more interesting. We played volleyball at first. It's the most NOT tiring game out of all. There were lot of hilarious moments. It's like uncountable. It is the best when there are long rallies and there were beautiful(ugly) successful saves that keep the game going.

Then we got chased away by the high school volleyball guys. So we turn to half court netball. My stamina is really the worst now. Just by running a bit, FYI I kept staying in the circle. I could barely catch my breath. I am really getting rusty.

Lastly, we played basketball. But it was the most boring because... Ok I think plague.g basketball with basketballers are way more fun 'cause our movements and passes are more predictable.

The most fun is the shooting game (some netballer game). I rock at it. My record now is 6 wins 2loss. The 2 wins and 1loss(my first game) was from the last day of term 2. I won 4 consecutive times today. 1 of them was tough. It was only Zheng liang and me fighting to be the last one standing but she is always behind so I can't 'kill' her. I had to keep knocking her ball away. I had to Lesotho taking breaks 'cause I was so exhausted. I defeated her anyway. But lost the last game to Jasmine. Man! Both of us were the last 2 standing but I was too tired to retrieve the ball so I lost:( Nvm. 4 consecutive champs just like what I achieved for the school bball. Haha!!!!

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Feel my wrath!

2011-06-28T21:43:00.001+08:00

Guess what! Today when Cherynn criticised, not really criticise, the No Regret, I got the whole HC overhead bridge shaking. All she said was you know hor the stupid show today showing the 九姑娘, immediately I know what it was. I stamped my feet repeatedly and shouted what stupid show! It is the best show ever. Then, they quickly stop me and tell me the whole bridge is shaking. True enough. The bridge sucks big time!!! It's so high and unstable. Everytime have to conquer the tall bridge of hc before I can go home from school.

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Staying in my little shell

2011-06-27T18:04:00.002+08:00

The last time I blogged was during the end of the school term. Oh yes! The start of holidays! Apparently, I haven't blogged for 4 weeks! It's a long time.
Let's start with the first week. It wasn't a good holiday to start with. I went to school on Monday to Thursday, with 2 of the days having lessons. Come on! IT's JUNE HOLS YOU KNOW! For monday, I went to school to mug. And the other 2 days after lessons, it's quality mugging. Well, my quality mugging stops there.
On thursday, I decided hey! I should just go and watch the front episode of No Regret. True enough. I had no regrets watching the show!!!!!I stuck my ass on the seat in front of my computer and bam through all the episode. BAGOOS!!! Thumbs up! (Y) I never like to watch period dramas during that kind of era. But this show got me totally into it. A side note, I went to school on Thursday just to gym. To try my chance to see, ahem! 'Cause the day before, I asked for number, but she didn't wanna give.

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Maybe someday...

2011-05-31T00:51:00.001+08:00

After seeing the fact that life is so unpredictable. You know what. I actually have this urge to confess my love, even though I know this will add on fear. This feeling is so contradicting. This is just so crazy.
The last time I didn't say, I regretted. But I know this is a whole entire different situation. I am so screwed!!! This thing is so driving me crazy. The past few months I had been so busy that I wasn't really into thinking about it.

2011-05-28T18:14:00.001+08:00

Life is just so unpredictable. Everyday, people die. For all that lives being taken away, I never really bother because it doesn't occurs to me or anyone around me. But this time, it's someone close to me. I never believe in gods but now, I need them to give me a miracle. Without treatment, my grandma's lifespan will max out in 2 to 6 months. Even with treatment, it is a maximum of a year. I don't want to lose her. I am willing to give up a few years of life in exchange for hers. Life is just so unfair. She doesn't smoke nor is there anyone in the family who smokes. Why must she contract lung cancer? If there is god and he is not blind, please let her live on.

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2 years in the 2 HCBBG team

2011-05-26T17:11:00.002+08:00

I was reading my past posts last year, also around this time. I was so astonished to find this post with a chunk of words.
"I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE OTHERS BUT I WILL PROVE MY WORTH ON NEXT WEDNESDAY. I AM NOT SCARED OF ANY OPPONENT. AMELIA! I AM NOT SCARED OF U TOO. I WILL DEFEAT YOU! I WILL DEFEAT MYSELF! NO ONE CAN STOP ME ANYMORE. NOT EVEN MYSELF.

I will strive to assist anyone in my team. I will shine on my stage and help others to shine. I may not be the best player on court but I don't have to try to be, because we have a team of strong players so we don't have to be individual. I will make the others who are the best to shine brighter than ever. When the team needs me to score, I will try my hardest to put the ball in. When the team need another attacking chance, I will grab the rebound and blow away the AP! When the team needs someone to help them get rid of their defense, I will help them screen. I will do anything for this finals (except for getting injured). Because everyone will be giving their best, I will too.

Whoever is scared about the finals, don't be. Why be scared when the game haven't even started? We have gone through so much. What can be more tiring than the 6 (training + friendly matches) in 3 days? What can be more mentally killing than the team is training so hard but you are injured and cannot play? Who can be stronger than us other than ourselves? We complete so many 20 minutes. From the very first time when a lot of us cannot finish the whole run, until we can run and joke and stride through the last 2 minutes. We sprint up the stairwell, cheering for ourselves. From 4-6-8 to 6-8-10-10 to 5 sets of 10. We even did that for warm up! Proposing crazy stuff and we complete all the crazy stuff. There is nothing to be scared. When u take away all the fear, all that is left is excitement. And think about your fear. If you are scared because we may lose. Put yourself in the RI players shoes. They should fear more. They lost to us once."

It totally show my love to the team and how much I was willing to sacrifice for them, without complaints. I used to blog about training but now I don't. Maybe I really didn't like the team until finals where we really displayed teamwork. Maybe it was the failure of my leadership. I don't know. Maybe if I was able to read the post I posted last year before the finals I may be able to play better. It was the same case. They lose to us once and we are playing the finals together again. We had the same kind of training too. ok. Maybe we didn't do the 5 sets of 210 consecutive as warm up this year but we went into 5 sets of 20 sprints like immediately. Worse, we had umpteen suicides.
Now that it is over, all I can do is to do my favourite. A music video. It's time to get on with life and hand it over to the younger batch. My last job as the captain is to organise the celebratory dinner. To whoever is going to be the captain, good luck and do a good job. It is a rather irritating job where you have to do a lot of coordinating and some people may not be very cooperative but you must strike a balance between authority, friendship and democracy. It sucks a lot but it is necessary. I know I wasn't a very good captain so I can't give much of an advice but that is my experience. Lastly, always be there for your teammates. Provide them with all the help they need.

Actually for the 2 years in the HC team, I realised the 2010 team and the 2011 team are very different even though about 75% of the team are the same people. If I am to use a few words to describe the team, there will be slight similarities but the differences are great.

2010

Bonded on court and off court

Speed, Skill and Strength

Defense and Fast breaks

Diligence & Teamwork

Camwhorers TEAM

2011

Height and shots

Run like dogs, play like b***h

Rebounds and Defense

Hardwork and Sacrifice

Even though throughout the season we were quite scattered, in the finals, we are finally a team. A whole and complete team.

Time to retire

2011-05-25T20:25:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a week since finals. Today, I shall blog about the finals.
I was quite anxious/excited/nervous/scared about finals. It was a mixture of feelings. Although we analyzed RI through and through, I was still afraid. It is the finals, anything can crop up. I couldn't keep still before the match. I kept listening to classical music but it still can't calm me down.
By the time we started warming up, I sort of gotten back the feeling we first played RI. Yes, the only game I played well in the season. But everything changed the moment I saw their defense formation. 2-3. We suck at attacking it. I was still ok until I had my first go for my attacking chance. They prevented me from getting the ball and finally when I got it. I outspeed the first defender but Alanna was there at the back, prepared to clamp my penetration. After that, I had very few touches of the ball at base. All I could only do is defend. But that doesn't mean my defense was any better. Alanna just keep getting past Ramona so I had to help very frequently. Also, I couldn't get in to get any offensive rebound as I got boxed out by 2 defenders. I had not boxed out properly for defensive rebound too.
It was a frightening game. I got substituted out very quickly. I couldn't remember much of the details. The other moment I could remember is when I finally made a successful penetration when they suddenly revert to man defense. But I missed my shot. That totally just crashed my confidence. All I focus next was to get the rebound and to defend well. The only 3 other touches of the ball during offense that I remember. One is I got a rebound from I can't remember whose free throw it was from. Then I made a hook shot. Bam! It went in. Wow! My only 2 points in the entire game. The other one was a penetration to the middle. 3 defenders,#13, Alanna and Hannah all came up to me and bam! A pass right over their heads to Ramona down low for a underbasket.
I was on the bench for quite a long time. There was a time during the 3rd quarter when a Hannah boost came. 3 consecutive fast break attacks from her and we had a 8 points deficit. Subsequently, I came up to play. But the points were still quite consistent around there because of Alanna. She got past Ramona to get the ball and met me. Standing straight in front of her, she slided to the side and toss the ball lightly into the air. CHOP! That occurred a few times! But slowly, we reduced the deficit and to a point of even points. But with 30+ seconds, 50-49, we were down by a point, we had foul trouble, so do they. They tried to squander away the time so that they could win. But someone intercepted the ball and we went for a fast break. The ball was to Cherylin and she attacked. She was fouled and given 2 foul shots. Everyone was so heated and the atmosphere was tense. With only 6-7 seconds on the clock, she had to put in the ball. So, I hugged her before the shots. I chanted to her," One ball. Just one ball. I just need you to put in one ball." With all eyes on her, true enough, she lived up to expectation. She made the first shot. She missed the second but it was alright. We are into overtime. I grabbed the rebound but just to made a fadeaway shot which hit the rim. I bet many people were disappointed in me. If it went in, we wouldn't have to play the extra time. Next, Sharlene got the rebound but she missed it too. With 0.7seconds on the clock, RI called a timeout. We managed to defend the 0.7 and went into overtime. The entire overtime I was on the bench. I was just so frightened. So that is what it's like to be on the bench watching the last moments. 50-50. The score remained for 3 minutes into the overtime. RI gave 2-3 fouls but Sharlene missed most of her shots with the last one going in. that is 51-50. Then, Ee Ling was being fouled. Before that, we gave solid defense. She made one of her shots. That is 52-50. We held on the score until 6.9 seconds was left on the clock. Coach called a timeout. We have the possession and we have to hold it. MW wanted to hold the ball but coach wanted an all in attempt. Well, I agreed with coach because 6.9 seconds. Even if we missed the attempt. 6.9seconds they need to put in a fast break with no stopping or slowing down. Not very possible. True enough. The ball was to Sharlene and Hannah flew out. She hugged tightly onto the ball and went in when everyone shouted to her the basket was unprotected. She went in and score the deciding ball. 54-50. The victor had been announced. Immediately, I jumped off my seat and started banging the floor. I was overwhelmed by mixed feelings!!! I rushed to hug Ramona and then the rest of the team. She did a great job rebounding. We hugged together and cried. Yenyi cried first. At a point of time during the game she broke down. We thanked RI, refs and the supporters with teary eyes.
Never once had I loved this team so much until that day. I always felt that the team last year was the most united team until this finals. We made it not because of individual efforts. I was very guilty. I felt that I could have given more to the team during the finals. I felt that I didn't deserve to be crowned the champions with them. I didn't live up to expectations. If the scoring pressure was on me, we would have lost but because of them. We put in the points and make up for each others scoring. That's why we won. It was the happiest victory although I ended the game with regrets. We gave up so much for it. Not only us, MW and coach gave up so much for our victory. We trained almost every other day. Even though we hated it, we still do it with our 100%. Coach came for trainings even though they were on sundays and she would want her family day, especially on Mothers' Day. She scolded us a lot but that's because she had a lot of expectations. We are probably one of the most screwed up batch with no individual outstanding consistent scorer. But she gave up for time for our victory. MW set up many friendlies for us and spend hours watching our videos to analyse our weakness and the opponents' weakness. Without him, we wouldn't have won the semifinal and final.
Now that there is no training, I feel so empty. This is the time where I really want to tell my team how much I love them. We had exceed our expectations. We had grown so much along the way. It is the end for the J2s, but a new start for the J1s. Although the road ahead of them will be tough, I wish them good luck and will try to help them whenever I am free.

The feel

2011-05-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

I don't know what got into us but today (though coach said we were panicky), we were quite calm in the first quarter. They score 2 we come back with a 3. And etc. Throughout the whole first quarter I don't feel that we were extremely excited or anxious to lead them. We went on a moderate speed and focus on defense and rebounding.
This was probably the only game we were quite calm and nt anxious to get back at them with a lot of points. The score was no further than 4 points throughout the entire 3 and a half quarter. I think coach and Michael think that we could have gotten more points because they didn't really defended well. Actually one on one we could get them. Only at the fourth quarter, sharlene asked me to force alanna to foul 'cause she has 3 foul already, then I kept penetrating. Also, Hannah has an injury so it was easier for me to get in. Hot liao then there was this stretch of 3 minutes all I did was prepare for help defense and ask for the ball. I even shout gimme the ball. I managed to get back our lead to a 9 pnt lead although we squander a lot of fast break chances we didn't let them to score easy pnts. They managed to close up the difference to 6 pnts but subsequently for the last 3 min they score a ball we will return another. By the last min I couldn't really move or think what I should do. I just had to keep going for the ball. Madness. I got bang like mad. EXHAUSTED!!!!

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GE

2011-05-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

I finally see some sensible people posting their comments on the Today paper. The title of the comment is 'More voices alone won't solve problems'. He recognised that rising inflation and property prices are not peculiar to Singapore. This is precisely the point of people not appreciating what they have. It is nearly impossible to overturn a phenomenon prevailing in the world. Everyone is thinking about their future benefits, such as the ability to afford a house. But be frank, which of Singaporean do not have a house? Now, those who cannot afford are young couples. Can't they live with their parents first and move out later when they can afford it? Now that we are even able to think of such not really that important things, people, other people in other countries have to think about if they can live past this very day or do they have sufficient food to eat for the next few days, it is all the government's credit. If everyone is going to blame the government for the 5 out of a 100 things they did for you that are wrong, and not even their fault, can you see how ungrateful we are? Even if they are servants (civil servants), they are not slaves. It is not because you did a lot of good deeds that is why you are born in Singapore and deserve to have good life, it was the government who gave it to us. Many of you reading this may think that I am being brain washed by the government but I am not. I am just looking at things in an objective way.

Getting more oppositions in does not help. There was a comment titled " why lose the losers?" I think what he says is absurd. He suggested that the government shoudl set an empty GRC for the ruling party's losing candidate so that they will not lose important ministers, then invite losing GRC team from the opposition to contest. What is the difference of putting in 5 new seats? The more ridiculous part is that he asked why didn't the government change the game pan by moving the ministers away from Aljunied when they know they are going to lose. Come on. No one will admit they are going to lose when they face a strong opponent. It just mean that they are cowards. Face it like a man. Why do those opposition contest even though they know they are bound to lose? It is the same.

My point is more voices does not help the people and it will impede government implementation of policies. Look at the so called first world government the Workers' party wants to achieve. Britain? USA? They are having so much problems that their countries have high unemployment rate. Is this what they want? The people to suffer for their personal satisfaction? Even a kid like me can see through their game plan. Make use of people's dissent and promise them a whole lot of stuff. People vote them in. But as minorities in the Parliament, they won't be able to do much. They break their promise and blame it that it is because of insufficient voice.

What is your greatest fear?

2011-05-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

I know this is very cliche but I find it a need to constantly remind myself and everyone who need motivation and are trying their best to get out of their horrible situation.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson from her book "A Return to Love"

<3

2011-05-02T23:58:00.001+08:00

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Purest of Pain

2011-05-02T13:17:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Vida, give me back my fantasies the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Vida, give me back my fantasies the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.

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爱你躲你

2011-04-23T12:49:00.001+08:00

越是爱你越想躲你
靠太近就怕否定真心
不问不看不听
逃走温柔也把热情浇息
越是躲你越想爱你
离太远人孤寂
眼底心底都是你
却难搂在怀里

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15 April

2011-04-15T21:40:00.001+08:00

Today was supposed to be a good day until I got my economics results. FML. I didn't expect me to U my economics. I really hate Us. Even a S is better than nothing. I am willing to exchange my C for my math for a E for economics. I spent most of my day thinking how to tell my mum. When I told her, she just gave me the disappointed face and shook her head. That was just depressing. I don't even know why I keep hanging on.

One consoling thing is maybe cos I talk to Michelle??? I spent 3 hrs of my day just to get people to fill up cherynn's book. It was like in a mess. Hopefully she likes the present and the book. But something that was entirely fail is I was supposed to distract her but I end up locking us in the squash court and the cake was stuck outside. FAIL SURPRISE. The best was probably smashing a small piece of a cake on her face.

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FML

2011-04-12T16:26:00.001+08:00

I just feel like crying when my surrounding start to turn quiet.
After the bad training session, scoldings from coach and scolding from my mum, I just couldn't take it. I know I can't blame anyone for it. I deserved to be scolded from my mum because I really didn't put in enough effort in my work. But I thought she will understand because right from the start when my intense training start, she said she will not comment on my studies until season end because she know my daily life is hectic enough. In the end, the result is always the same. She forgets what she promised and keep harping that if I think basketball will not affect my studies then go on. I knew it will affect that is why I tell her don't judge by block test 1. I just don't understand her. And I don't think she understands what I am thinking. She always says that I am the one who chose this school so I should handle the stress and cannot blame her. But who is the one adding on to my stress? She just don't understand this part. If there was anything that I ever lasted long doing, it is basketball. Every other interests are all short lived. How does she ever say she give me the freedom to do whatever I want when the only thing I ever want to do is just enjoy playing basketball. If she had enough of my nonsense, I had enough of her eating her words. The worst is to compare. If she could just stop comparing my sister and I. She takes less subjects than I do and she is less active in school activities. She can just spend more time on her studies. And she studied with her friends for long hours. For all she knows, maybe my sister talked more than she worked. Plus what works for her doesn't work for me. I really don't like to study outside. It is less productive than I studies at home. I am not an elitist but you seriously have to look at the standards of the paper and the era we are in now. Be realistic too if u want me to be!

Then it is on balling. I really don't know what coach wants. We are already in very low morale. It gets worse each time she scolds. When things are bad, we need to slowly pick up. When it is getting better she just have to bring us down. And does asking anyone of us what we should should do helps? What does she expects me to do? Is it my fault that they give the disheartened look? Is there anything I can still do to stop them from giving that face when I already said what I should and stop them from being so mentally weak? Now I don't even know what I can do for them already. I don't even know what I cam do for myself. I am not going to bother about anything. Do whatever they think is right. I don't even have the energy to argue with them anymore. If by this time they don't even know what is wrong with themselves, I just have a word for them, hopeless. What's the point of having team talks over and over when the issues we talk about is always the same. It just proves that what we are not internalising what people said. Since they don't even listen so why repeat? It's a wake up call. Stop looking at what everyone can do. Look at what you yourself can do. There is no point having a one size fit all method. It won't work and it burns everyone out by doing everything together.

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After blocks!

2011-03-26T18:25:00.000+08:00

Econs paper was ok. Average. Mrs Yip said that it followed closely based on last year's A level paper. Just when I thought Math paper tough, I saw the Chemistry paper. And just when I thought I have seen the worst, Physics paper came along. It was the toughest paper. Crap!

Oh! Yesterday I ate Just Acia with Yun Zhen, Cherynn and Charmaine. I only had 3 hours of break then I went for Econs tuition. Wa sian! Today after training, went to Just Acia for lunch again.Yesterday only stay there for 1 hour then we left. Today with the team chit chat all the way. We sat there for more than 2 hours talking crap. HAHA!

Training camp itself

2011-03-21T08:36:00.001+08:00

It's pretty late to talk about the camp now cause later is bt. Crap! But just wanna mention a few stuff(a lot).
The PAE test was unnecessarily long! 4 hrs with just 15min break. Omg! What a killer! But the real killer was moving our stuff from college to salt centre. Wa! Can die! It was like army training for that 15-30 mins.
We had training at bas. They waxed the floor so it was rather slippery. We keep repeating some drills like the baseline start ball, the full court press and cruising past full court defence. It was all for the friendly later on.
For the friendly, we had a splendid first half but a horrible second half. It was the turning point game. This is the game where we wake up and realised hey! When times are bad we shouldn't blame each other. we need to adjust and figure. Our way out. The most significant about this is the 30 break we had due to the lights going off. It is so embarrassing! Our school facilities are pretty bad! Considering the lights were built last year. So we ended the match at around 10plus. There were some hiccups like Sharlene showing some attitude again and because she refused to apologise, coach refused to let her play again (tough time for us).
By the time we eat and finally bath, it is about 11.30. I remembered the time because when we go to the toilet 6 at a go, the netballers came. They ended up finished bathing faster than us. High efficiency!
We had our objectives set up too.
The next morning we went for a morning run. We did the from last print to first thing for 15mins before being chased of the track. We had to continue on the pavement. We completed 20mins of run. After that, we go stuff ourselves with food before the dunman game. I wasn't tired after the run and wasn't aching at all. But after we cool down my body ache like mad. The bus uncle almost sent us to the wrong dunman despite asking him clearly 3 times.
For the match we had a rocky start, but we manage to stabilize and adjusted during the second quarter. It was at first a 4-0 run by dunman then 5-0 run by us before the 8-0 run by dunman again. Fortunately we let it stop there. If nt the score difference will be too great. As the game goes, our defence also became better. However, 3mins past last quarter, we started to fumble a bit when dunman get a few open 3 points and scored. It is always the same situation when we defended so well and suddenly there is one loophole and they just attack that like mad. It wasn't a bad thing because we reacted just before it ends. I heard the score was some 50 plus to 40 plus. 10 point difference. A slight improvement from the draw we had last time. I also realised that something about a champion team they had that we don't. It is to hassle for every ball. We eventually found that but it is usually when we are having a bad time then we do it. We have to do it everytime we play. Everytime the ball looks like it is going out, we have to either get it or prevent the opponent from getting it.
I went o disturb the netballers and got caught by Ms Teo. Haiz... Haha! I scam that I came to get notes from Liyi. How can it be true! I even re enacted some scenes of the funny. Haha! They say I can be comedian! I knew it since young.
J1s plus me, went to swim for recovery. My muscles really ached less. But I had ugly tights tan line. Argh! But nvm, it shows that I am become darker. We keep discussing about lame stuff when relaxing like fats? And the auntie swimming.
We then train at NJC indoor court. It's smaller than a half court and it was all very old lines. Coach went in and give the wth look. And so, we had to give the we don't know look cause it was my first time in NJC. We trained some boring no running stuff and finally train some attacking 2-3 zone tactic and 3-2 too. The last part where half of us shoot free throw and half just keep running then switch. This is tiring. I realised sharlene everything oso wanna complain. We have odd numbers in total how to split evenly?! Forget it.
We went to poolside to eat. It was not bad.
This is the best joke day. I went to the netballer side to offer them my cup noodles as I wasn't hungry but have to finish that noodles. If I bring home that I will be killed! Skinned alive! Anw, ya so I was sitting outside talking to yunzhen and cherynn, who knelt Liyi thought Lynn was here. Without even looking, she just, ' hey Lynn I miss you!' Just to turn and realise Lynn was not there. Epic! Then I went back to take the boost for cherynn and to take my cam. Wl! They all suan me say I go netballer side, go be netballer. It was all cause they keep studying that's why I didn't stay. So boring la! I mean I didn't know they spam photos after that. They 散場 so fast. Then I ask Lynn to go over. Lynn refused. Liyi had to come invite her to go. We spam photos before going to the netballers' room and the funniest joke took place. I.asked Lynn to play with Liyi the lame penguin wrestle before we leave, then Ms Teo decided to come in. We had alerts and went for hiding. Well, she said she heard my voice and found me. Just when she thought I was the only one, she found a pair of slippers outside. She said confirm have another bballer then she went in to search. Lynn was hiding in a hole that is used to put chairs in our corner. Ms Teo walked in, past where Lynn was to check the place I was just now, with Lynn RIGHT BEHIND HER! Everyone was bursting into laughter and trying to convince her the pair of slippers was Ziwei's and eventually she didn't find Lynn who was behind her for a moment. She managed to escape safely without notice.
The next morning I didn't eat a lot ( explain my lack of energy). We played with the c boys. They wore the same colour as us. Mw made our guys team sacrificed by making those wearing white take out their jersey. Poor them! The worst is the c boys refused to wear and they have PE shirt! They could have said earlier and the guys won't have to suffer for them.
Again a rocky start game. It's tough to play since they are faster and stronger. It was this game when sharlene finally apologized. Coach was pretty pleased with the game because she keep joking. I managed to find Michelle behind all the tall boys and can pair with yen yi. Yen yi even ankle break one of the boys. She keep suanning the boys for not being able to put in layups and low shooting percentage. There was point where the score difference was only 1, before we pull away again.
It was very hot and some people were sunburned. I was too dark to be. Haha! Even after swimming I was still fine.
The massage session during video analysis was the toughest for me. I cannot scream yet I was in pain!

After all this, I really want to win the championship. This team can do it. We really have the abilities not just individually. When we really work well together, we are really strong! I really want to prove it to those who said we cannot do it after the 3 of them leave. We can! Whatever they used to do it alone, we will complete it as a team. If it takes 5 passes to make a simple opening like how weiyi can do it in a pass, then so be it. If it take 3 persons scoring abilities to cover up Sara's scoring, then we will use 3. If 1 person cannot contain 1 ace like how Eva do, we use zone. As simple as that.

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Training camp

2011-03-13T23:14:00.001+08:00

A year ago, before we had the trng camp, we were all very scared. It was supposed to be like hell. Trng day and night. Rly day and night. Morning runs. Oh crap. But it didn't turn out to be that bad.
This year, it seems like no one is afraid of it. All the j2s know that this is where our real pre-season start. From here on, we need to grow at a rate of an exponential curve. Because we all want to win, we are prepared for the day and night tortures. But I am surprised that the j1s are not afraid at all. I hope they know what is awaiting them for the next 3 days. Hope they are mentally prepared.

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A level results

2011-03-04T21:35:00.001+08:00

Today, all the classes of 2010 received their results. Something happy is that our school produced the nation's top scorer. However, there is a dip in the overall results. The As for chemistry dropped by 25%, biology dropped by 20%. Physics was probably still the same. There was improvement in humanities. Still, sciences were supposed to be hc forte. Nvm. We will work it out. Our batch shall do well.

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想回到過去

2011-02-25T23:35:00.001+08:00

Today I attended the POP. It was fun, it was crazy, it was high, but it isn't my year. It's not my time for it. It's the J1s'. I am kinda jealous. I want my year back. I want to be 17 again. Even if I don't get to have any juniors, even if I won't even know who Michelle is, even if I don't get to have whatever I am having now. I don't mind. I don't mind to exchange it for the past. It's not that I am not willing to step out of my comfort zone. I don't know. I just missed some things. I missed the dinners we used to have after training, I missed the times we sleep and slack in the old squash court, I missed the times we play volleyball even though we ain't very good at it. Even today, when I finally had the chance to go into the new squash court to play volleyball, it feels so different. It is no longer the squash court we used to be it. The court has changed so have the people playing.

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dream

2011-02-24T08:29:00.001+08:00

I had been cooking for the past few days and it is so fun. Maybe next time I will want to be a chef. But I realised something, all the famous and repeated chef are all males?! Ain't woman better at cooking?
Okay, I think I had been too tired and don't have much time to dream at night. Maybe I don't want to be a chef but just want to do something that can allow me to escape from my routine and boring life. I am really very tired, both physically and mentally. Sometimes I just wish that there were 2 or 3 of me, so that I can have more time to do more things. My bloody life is limiting my time for everything. I want to go sentosa, I want to go karaoke, I want to have more time to play with my friends. This boring life is really making me hate studies. Sometimes I really don't care if I do badly for examinations. I don't want to do anything to prevent people from being disappointed, but I can't. Everyone is telling me that I should get good grades and it is not for others but for myself, but I never really want to a high achiever academically. I just want to be me. Just want to have fun. You may think I am myopic but I really just want to live in the present and for the present. Why prepare so far when I don't even know what will happen in thr future?

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Mug hard!

2011-02-19T13:42:00.001+08:00

Crapssss... I dont have enough time to study! Whenever training ends late, that will mean I reach home at around 8 plus. By the time I bathe and everything, it is about 9. I can at most finish my work because after 10 I will lose focus and feel sleepy because of training. I don't even have any time to revise my work! Weekends are worse! I have to try my best to complete a week worth of work so that weekdays I have less work to do. At most I get 1-2 hours of revise.

The best part is march hols will have basketball camp. The 7 days of revision just reduce to 4. It is quite unlikely that I will be able to study during the camp. So screwed!

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Another hectic week

2011-02-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

This week only 1 day was considered fun. It was Thursday, Yun Zhen's birthday. I think it is the first time I did so much to give someone a birthday surprise. Seriously, we didn't plan any surprise until on Wednesday she said she wants a birthday surprise. And so, Charmaine and I went to buy her expensive bag. Fortunately, we found people to share cost. We got Liyi and Lynn to share the cost. Straight in Yunzhen's face. We bought her a bag that was not the original one we wanted to get her because both of us thought it was nice. We even scammed her how small her bag is, a size of a pencil case. Haha!

So the next day, we planned her surprise. Originally, we wanted to mix egg and flour and throw it at her. It would be really messy. But we didn't. First, the netballers blindfold both Yunzhen and Evelyn (it's her birthday too.). Then, they just abandon Yunzhen in the middle of the central plaza. Lynn, Charmaine and I had to entertain her so that she doesn't take off her blindfold. The netballers went off to celebrate Evelyn's birthday first. So we decided we shall let her 'work' for her present first. She had to find 18 people to take photo with her with the board saying ' Hi I am Yunzhen. Today is my birthday. I think I am chiooo. Would you like to take a photo with me?' and a ugly blindfold. It turned out to be more than 18 as so people take in a group. So strictly speaking it is 18 photos. She was fortunate that the basketball girls team helped her clear 2 photos. When the netballers celebrate for her, (they totally spoilt my plan. I thought they were going to celebrate for her at the squash court so we can throw planes down from the 2nd storey.) we threw planes at level ground. It was so anti-climax. Erm.. But she like the planes, so whatever. Haha! Anyway, she didn't know what the board say. We had to cheat her that it was a painting. Oh! That gave me a chance to talk to Michelle:) During the search for 18 photos, we almost got Ken Yeow to take photo with her. But he didn't want to. Wasted!

There was another funny part to it. That was during Chemistry lecture we wanted to make a balloon filled with powder and burst it in her face. Who knows I breathe in some powder and... The powder ended up on my face instead of her face when I burst it. Fail!

CNY Eve

2011-02-02T15:41:00.000+08:00

Today, everyone got to take their photo with their EC. I am happy and sad at the same time. I am happy because I finally took a photo with MICHELLE. WOW! But the sad thing is she is like damn scared of me. Not like I will eat her up right!!!!! She move back when she realised I was the friend who thinks she is very cute. Haha! She looked kinda freaked out when I asked if she could take a photo with Michelle. OK. Confusing. As in take a photo with Michelle Tsen. Michelle Tsen damn funny. Haha! She even introduced herself to the other Michelle. Damn! I should have done it.

We spammed photos like mad. All the weird photos are in Lynn's camera. All the ECs. Haha! We started immediately after flag raising. From terraces all the way to class bench. Everyone must be thinking who are this bunch of weird people. I helped Adeline's class to sell $6 worth of beancurd but I only helped my class sell $2 worth of jelly. The best part is when I was selling that $2 worth of jelly, I bought $8 worth of food because everyone said they bought (not lying they showed me the jelly) from my class and I had to buy from them. I even helped 10S7G advertise their hairspray. It is quite obvious on my hair so quite easy and convenient to promote.

Happy CNY!

She is so cute!!!!

Michelle^2

My hair is so cool!

Polaroid ( I keep it in my phone cover)

Pre CNY

2011-02-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

CNY is around the corner! I am so excited!!!!
Actually not really.
Just that I can have a good break after balancing my work and balling. Phew!

Crap

2011-02-01T10:14:00.001+08:00

Crap! Dun read my blog! Ahhhh! I should have never posted that embarrassing thing!

New Phone

2011-01-24T23:03:00.003+08:00

I bought a new phone. My clique qas spamming photos. We were supposed to do our HBL. We did do a bit, but more than half of the time was spent on my phone, especially the camera.

Masks

2011-01-21T20:29:00.001+08:00

I feel so fake. So artificial. Despite being so stress, so irritated, I had to act like I am so carefree. Although I know how disgusting it is, I can't take it off. I feel so disgust with myself. I don't have the energy to be like how I used to be.

I want a channel for me to vent my stress, I want to tell this to someone and get it off my chest. But I can't believe this. I can't find anyone to talk to. There were some people I thought of, but I doubt they will even understand how I feel, so what is the point. I feel so pathetic, very pathetic.

Too tired

2011-01-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

I am just tired. Tired from all the studying. Tired from all the sleep deprivation. Tired from allthe studying stress. Tired of all the balling stress. Tired of myself not being able to do what I want. Tired of people don't ask when they don't get it. Tired of everyone doing the opposite from the plan. Tired of people assuming. Tired of people undermining our efforts. I am freaking sick and tired of everything. I just want a good night sleep with no worries of what is going to happen next, with no fear of me forgetting something. My dream of leading an ordinary, simple, happy and no worries life is just so screwed. A week felt like a term. I need my break. I need to have time to just breathe and do nothing.

2011-01-05T11:50:00.000+08:00

It doesn't matter if I think and think about it and become unable to sleep. It just matters if I can execute it. It is pointless to just think about it. Not that I don't know this is true, but yesterday, I was unable to sleep. I was disturbed by all my thoughts that I even chose to wake up and do my work. This is frustrating. I don't want to get any sleepless night anymore. Yesterday, all that happened is just not right. The game, my hair, my mum. Argh! It is just irritating how life don't go the way I wish it should.

The Last Post of 2010(I accidentally posted it at 0000 instead of 2359 it became my 1st post of 2011)

2011-01-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

I shall summarize my 2010.

My 2010 was one of the better years of my 17 years. It was one of the fun years. The year with fun team mates and fun class mates, at least my clique was fun. Words are just not sufficient to express my feelings, how I felt about this year. Things did not went really well for the start of the year but looking back, those bad things were what that make me subsequently enjoy and appreciate everything, everything.

The start of 2010, I just came back from Taiwan and I had a chalet to organize and take part. I played wildly during the chalet and to the extent, I did not go for training. I feared training and so, I did not go for the training when I was at the chalet. Although I planned to go for training as I brought my training gear already, Eeling just psychoed me a little and both of us did not go. I scammed that I was ill.

Then, it was time to get my results. When I received it, I was still alright. I was calm and ready to accept any result. But, that was not what I wanted. Even if it was 1 point different, it was really disappointing for me. I just broke down. Everyone comforted me that it was quite okay. The points was not far off but the overall score was really not up to standard, really not what I wanted at all. My CCHMS batch team, other than Shuhadah, went out together to relieve ourselves from the stress of getting our scores.

I was quite determined to go HCI but my mum was quite worried if I cannot cope with my work. Before I really went to HCI for their training, I went quite determined not to play basketball again. However, after going for a few trainings, I really like the team and I reignited my passion for basketball again.

So, I was posted to NYJC for a day and after that, my appeal was successful. The next day I joined HCI for their orientation where it really started. I was posted to the same orientation group as Cherylin. Together with me, Qian Tong and Lynn were both accepted. My dad was the one who sent QT to CJC for her appeal.

The orientation was a blast! Well, the orientation means half orientation plus skipping orientation to slack with the J1 basketballers. That, was pretty fun. Our first hideout was the Zen Garden. It wasn't a pretty garden, but it was our sleeping place. Well, we had training after our orientation. Trainings at the old court was really quite horrible memories. All the hardship and toughest part of our season was experience there. During one of our trainings or friendly, I can't remember. I sprained my ankle. That explain the ankle guard on my leg in the photo. I could not take part some of the games because of the sprain ankle. But some, I just went ahead. How many orientation can I get in a school?

We had the eat snap eat snap part where we train like mad and after that have dinner and eat like mad. Those were the light sticks in the darkness of my basketball life at that moment. And those were what that keep me going. We look like retards in the restaurant, we look like some beggars sitting in a corner eating all sorts of weird food from NTUC. But it was enjoyable and memorable.

Then, CNY arrived. We had our fair share of partying. So did we have our fair share of training, under the red scotching sun. I started my CNY celebration with my class. We watching boring TTM performance as it is not our type of performance. Then, it is the time with the bballer. We spammed photos. Gorup photos, individual photos, weird photos. Everything. We had a tough training under the sun, burning every inch of our skin. Not only the sun was red hot, we were red hot too. I meant our jerseys.

Happy CNY!

The retarded part

The cheese part

The emo part


It says bball <3

Then, it came. We started lessons and start real trainings. We had a team talk before that. You know, actually, I dreaded training. Really. Coach ever said Eeling and I were the weirdest players they ever seen. We know how to do it, we can cheer people on. But when we are doing it, we ain't able to do it, to continue. Mentally, we are weak. Then, during the team talk, (actually even during trainings before that) Wei Yi, Sara and Eva shown real determination to win. I could feel their desire for the title. That kind of thirst for victory, to prove their strength, their worth, influenced me. They made me feel the same too. They awoke the fighter spirit in me once again, that kind of simple desire to win, the pure passion, the perseverance.

We had this farewell party with the court. Sounds weird? We had the basketball-netball-volleyball alliance and played a farewell game on the old courts. It was to be taken down for the building of the new MRT station. I was horrible in volleyball. I made beautiful spikes, that went out. Haha! Disgraced to the basketball team. We played basketball team. We had Justin and Melvin in our team, but we lost to the teachers team all because of Michael's 3 points.

We had some PT and also trainings on SAT. There were up to 4 trainings per week. We worked real hard. But we work as hard with the camera too. We painted our own banner too. Esprit de Corp. Pain is temporary, victory is forever.

Then our training camp came. For me, it was heaven and hell. We were in quite a bad state before the camp. Our teamwork was just not there yet. But during the camp, it turned better. We trained day and night and had a second friendly with RP. We played better than the first time we played with them. The first night was exhausting. We slept pretty early. But the second day was just friendly so it was not that tiring. We still had some singing session and video analysis. But the second game was my hell. My bad habit caused it to turn the last day into a hell. I dived for a ball and I had a horrible sprain on my left ankle. It was partial ligment tear. At first, it was worrying because the physio thought it was a third degree sprain as I couldn't land any weight on it. Fortunately, it wasn't. But still, at that moment, it wasn't any good news either. 2 weeks, I had to sit out. At that time, the season was supposed to start on 7th April. 2 weeks would mean I will be back just right at 7th April. Or maybe I wouldn't even make it.

Luckily, 7th April was for the guys and ours was on the 22nd April. When I was back, I was pretty frustrated. I couldn't get back my touch for basketball during our friendlies. But because of my team, I hanged on. I had to.

Season started. We skipped a lot of lessons. For example, we are supposed to leave at 12, we leave at 9. If we are to leave at 11 or before, we totally don't go for lessons or just go for selective lessons. So much time! What did we used it for?

The day we had our semi finals, we were supposed to have CSM. And so, we are exempted from it. That same day, Volleyball had finals and netball had a more exciting semi finals than us, against our arch rivals, RI. They all won. We won our game too. But for the first 4 minutes, we were still 0-0. But still we thrashed SAJC. That was the first time I celebrated my birthday on court.

Then, came our finals. I think I don't have to explain the finals again right?

Season ended. We had our team dinner and last briefing as the 2010 team at Sentosa. It was happy but at the same time sad because it marks the end of the season as the 2010 team after enjoying half a year with them.

Then, came all the studying. Block test and all the shit. Then we had a pre-promo party. It was a team cum clique party.

After Promos was sabbaticals and more work because of PW. Haha! Cherynn was probably quite angry because I kept playing chess instead of practicing my script. She was at the verge of murdering me!

Then came the Taiwan trip. It was sweat, tears and laughter. A mixture of all.

Christmas sleepover was a blast too! It was a gossip session, a HTHT and sharing life experiences.

And today, the steamboat to celebrate the last day of 2010!

LOST

2010-12-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

I really don't know how to make them have the sense of urgency. Maybe it is not the time yet. Maybe they just need some time. But I really don't know how to do it. I can give my 100 and 10 percent of my determination to run, to score. I have to confidence to do my individual stuffs. I have the determination to help those who need help and are willing to be helped. But what about those that are not willing to help themselves or forever think they don't need help? I can't change their mentality. I can't help them with anything their views.

This may be offending but I really think it is ridiculous if you don't run back to defense just because you know they run really fast. What? Just leave it to the last man to take what? 3 on 1? Or just let them score that 2 points and we will get it back by scoring 2 more points? This is NOT acceptable. If we use the second scenario, then we will forever be on par or catching for points. The first scenario is worse! If the last man is Michelle, is she going to take opponents like my size? Ridiculous. This is really a big problem especially the guards. They are not doing their job. Regardless what, they can run back and take the one with the ball then just let it go. They are not putting themselves in the last man or second last man shoes. Imagine if they manage to stop the ball and because their team mates never run back to defend, another opponent trail in to score, if they were the ones defending, will they want their team mates to come back? Really, they have to start to think for others. I am not complaining because I ran back to defend and they did not. But this is not the way of our basketball. Our basketball should be one with strength, with speed, with skill, with wits and with teamwork. So which part does this comes in? Wits? The wits to save energy and to not work that heart. What rubbish!

Another post on my thoughts

2010-12-20T23:03:00.000+08:00

Today, we had another friendly match. It was with RP. There were stretches when we played well and there were stretches when we were horrible. I really need to have the habit of getting out to receive the ball to prevent people from tapping the ball away and also to protect the ball well. I think I only played fairly okay towards the end, before I became a little berserk due to the tiredness.

One thing I like about today's game was there were more attempts to feed the centres and because of that we can kick the ball out for shots. One thing I hate about this game was the tempo was bad. We were not in any control of the game pace.

But I was still rather glad there were improvements. If we played like the parts when we did well, we will be a really strong and scary team. We just need to be more consistent throughout the whole game. Coach is right! Our strength, stamina and speed are still not there. We need more communication defensively and offensively. We just need to progress as how it is now. This pace of progressing is not too bad. Considering the opponent is RP (come on, they have so many experience players), and we still had a few stretches we played well, we are doing fairly well.

I hope today I am doing an alright job encouraging them. I tried to calm some of them down and give some advices. I don't know if I am in the right position to do that, but I hope it helps.

选择

2010-12-17T14:13:00.000+08:00

When things start to get tough and difficult, I will always ask myself if I had made the right choice. During the trip, there was just some times I feel like I am suffocating and I just feel like giving up. I didn't know how I lasted a year. All the work, all the training, all the frustration.

After yesterday, I typed a message to the 3 seniors and look at all the videos in the past. I knew how I survived through all this. I reflected and I found my answer to go on. I used to complain how much I hate doing things for others and living up to everyone's expectation. But now, I know, it was that reason that I hate so much, pushed me on. When things get difficult, I was just finding a reason to fall back on. Actually, now then I realized, I find strength in working for others because I know that was the path I chose from the start.

I used to complain that my mum never give me a chance to choose what I want for myself but the school I chose to study, play basketball. Those were all my choices. And maybe because of that I lasted so long. I chose to study in Hwa Chong and therefore, I had no right to complain about anything because it was my decision and I had to live with it. If it was a mistake, I should continue with it. But the best part is, there is no way to decide if it was a mistake or not. For now, it is not. Because I find strength in working with, for everyone of them.

Everytime I see my teammates and friends caring for me when I break down, I find strength to carry on. When I see them laugh, I cannot help it but it laugh. When I remind myself of all the happy times, I will just want to continue and create more happy moments with the team, with my class.

I guess from now, I will try my best not to blame others when my life don't work out and also I think I should always stick to my principles. Do it for myself, do it for everyone. And also, to live with my decision, regardless it is right or wrong.

我喜欢，不我爱

2010-12-17T13:27:00.002+08:00

我喜欢，不我爱 - 严爵

2010-12-16T16:05:00.000+08:00

我喜欢你的眼看着我的眼
我喜欢你的脸贴着我的脸

我喜欢你的手牵着我的手
我喜欢你的口吻着我的口

时间在改变你不要改变

因为我很爱你不想要你放弃爱情
友情这段得来不易
我爱你真的是很爱你所以想
就这样继续爱下去

时间在改变你不要改变

因为我很爱你不想要你放弃爱情
友情这段得来不易
我爱你真的是很爱你所以想
就这样继续爱下去

因为我很爱你不想要你放弃爱情
友情这段得来不易
我爱你真的是很爱你所以想
就这样继续爱下去

（我真的真的很喜欢喜欢
我真的真的很爱
我真的真的很喜欢喜欢
我喜欢，不我爱
我真的真的很喜欢喜欢
我真的真的很爱
我真的真的很喜欢喜欢）
就这样继续爱下去

Just a beginning

2010-12-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

I am finally back from the Taiwan trip. We brought back a lot of stuffs, that includes strategy and our strengths and weaknesses of the team as a whole. As for the individual strengths and weaknesses, we knew it more or less before the trip. But what we see from this trip are the basics stuff that we lack in, such as pivoting, passes and timing. We are lucky that we can get most of the team so early and we should start to build up chemistry in our game, work on communication and the most basic stuffs that contributes to the game such as defense and rebounding. We have to work on our weakness and strengthen our strength. We are a strong team, but that is not enough, we need to be much stronger to be the strongest team. My goal is to keep the trophy in the school and retain the championship title. Our definite goal may be different but I know everyone desire to improve and win. That is it! That is just the most important thing we need to keep in our head. We just need to believe in ourselves.

Feelings

2010-12-15T20:29:00.000+08:00

When I read Sara's letter, I was very touched. When I read Wei Yi's letter, I cried. Sometimes I just wonder how they endured all these through out this year. Now I really admire them ttm after being in their position now. This season had allow me to experience a lot of things and see some things from a different perspective. I will always remember this year and stay strong. I try my best not to break down like the other night.

Worst bus experiences

2010-12-02T23:33:00.000+08:00

Today, I had my worst bus experiences. First, I was going to aljunied mrt station. I checked on the internet that it takes only 15 min to get there. When I was walking towards the bus stop, I check iris. 4min 6min. Too far for me. When I was nearer, I checked again, arriving and 6 min. But when the bus stop was in sight I saw a bus left. I thought it was the arriving bus, but to make sure I check again. Damn! It is 10 mins. I waited and it took ab 15 mins for it to arrive. Nvm. I still had 20 mins. The stupid bus stopped before every traffic light and in the end I took 25 mins to reach and I was late.
Just now on my way home, I was thinking well 7.15pm should have a lot of buses. But I waited for 30 mins, even Cheryl's bus left. I decided I should check iris. It says 7 mins. And then, another update says it is sstuck at a jam, so delay. Nvm. I wait. The damn bus was packed when it arrived and only the first half of the bus was packed. At the back, each person at least have one and a half arm length distance apart. Everyone got up the bus except for me. I kept telling the bus driver the back have a lot of space, and all he did was look at me and look at the back as though he don't understand me. He closed the doors and left. That, was 40 mins. I had to wait for the next one which came in 15 mins times. Not 1 bus, but 3 of the same bus. I board the first one, which didnt have many people, but what happened in the noon happened again. It ended up to be the last bus to reach my house.
This is so irritating!!!!

Elva Hsiao - 错的人

2010-11-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

明知道爱情并不牢靠
但是我还是拼命往里跳
明知道再走可能是监牢
但是我还是相信只是煎熬

朋友都劝我不要不要
不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑
但是做人已经那么累
假惺惺的想要逃
在爱里连真心都不能给
这才真正的可笑

爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易不顾一切满是伤痕
我太笨明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但是我还奋不顾身

明知道爱情并不牢靠
但是我还是拼命往里跳
明知道再走可能是监牢
但是我还是相信只是煎熬

朋友都劝我不要不要
不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑
但是做人已经那么累
假惺惺的想要逃
在爱里连真心都不能给
这才真的真正可笑
爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易不顾一切满是伤痕
我太笨明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但是我还奋不顾身

可能在爱里面这样算笨
可能永远没有所谓永恒
但是我不愿放弃这里面一点点可能
宁愿笨也不想要悔恨

爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易不顾一切满是伤痕
我太笨明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但我还是奋不顾身
我太笨明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但我相信有点可能

Bits and pieces of life

2010-11-13T01:21:00.000+08:00

A bigger team is definitely harder to manage but still I have to try. I just hope that people will quit keeping things to themselves so that we can improve in communication. What you think may not be the actual think. Although coach said we should be old enough to judge, if from the start you have a prejudice thinking then I will say that your mind is not as old as you are. It is true that it is inevitable to have that mindset but if you have it there must be a reason to it. Are you guilty of what you have done that is why you felt that people Are out to revenge? Or is it just that you are too wary? Whatever it is, I am not the person and I am not in the position to judge anyone. That was just what I thought could be. There is no right or wrong to it. There is no best solution and all that is done depends on how we actually view it. Ok. I am using mobile phone to type this and my mind is in a mess that's why what I typing is not in sequence and all in a chunk. I just felt that it takes two hands to clap. Yo resolve we need two sides to be cooperative too. Shutting up and trying very hard to accept something you don't agree will never solve a problem. Moving on. Prioritizing and giving up are different things, don't you agree? Equivalent exchange ( deng ji jiao huan). Life revolves around this principle. You gain some you lose some. Most people give up what they think is worth it. But some situations are just not like this. It is not about whether it worths it, it is about being happy. Being in this world is to enjoy life. Why make life so difficult for yourself? Follow your heart follow your dream is the way to live. Sometimes life will be better if it is simple. If what your mind says contradicts your heart then follow your heart. The reason why some people live so painfully is because they never live for themselves, their logic rules their life. They live like how the norm is supposed to be but being different and happy just takes a lttle more courage. I don't know how to say this but.. I guess you people will understand.

Sleeping time!

2010-11-03T20:42:00.000+08:00

We had a 'I almost cannot take it' training yesterday. It was really tiring and comparatively less water breaks. We did energy draining stuff and even ran suicides. Based on my fitness now, if tomorrow's training is still like this, I will probably just die.

Team Day

2010-10-19T22:57:00.000+08:00

We did all the team stuffs today. We cleared the Taiwan trip issue, had our team talk, talked to coach to arrange training sessions and talked crap with her, had a great session of informal ttm training which is 1 on 1 and 3 on 3. It was a productive day. My favourite part is we do not have to do our fitness test. Man... I seriously think that is it not very useful to have the test. Probably the worst part was I sprain my ankle again. It was a slight sprain but it was a dumb one. I was going to jump and touch the light. So I let go of the ball and jumped. As usual, I reached it but guess what. The ball rolled to the place I was going to land. I stepped on the ball and *crack*. My ankle went down and up. PAIN! To reduce my pain, I sprayed the salonpas. I thought spraying it together with deep heat will help. But I ended up in pain. My ankle swell because of the mint. LOL! Dumb ttm!

STUDENT FORUM

2010-10-18T17:43:00.001+08:00

I used to think student forum is a waste of time and for me to pon or sleep. Fortunately, I didnt fall asleep or pon it. The issues to discuss during the student forum were all very relevant to us. I mean me. First one is the student lounge. They are just giving excuses. The school does not have enough space for it. Come on! If they can built 2 tiny classrooms next to the college reception, why not they convert it to student lounge. Things such as it being stinky after a while and things being vandalised, therefore they do not build one is definitely just an excuse. We pay $300 per month for school fees not just for our education but for our student welfare. I mean classroom do get vandalised and litter all around, does it mean we should not have classrooms? It is ridiculous. Dr ___ is so not trying to put himself in our shoes. Just like why the government built the casinos despite it have possible social benefits? It is whether the benefit outweigh the possible cost. In our case, I am sure it will outweigh the cost. It is better than students trying very hard to find places to rest. The sports groups use places like the squash courts, the councilors will use the welfare room, the our people will try to use classrooms to rest. It is fine if they allow us to eat in the classrooms or sleep and rest. The worst part is they do not. Dr ___ suggested the library. How about we go in as a large group and start chatting. Relax means rest and doing what we like. Gossiping, chatting, eating, playing and more are within our defined relaxation. How are we able to do this in the library? There are books around. It is not possible to change it into a noisy library with rooms for quiet reading. In that case, that will not be a library. They think of long term solution like wait for the new blocks to be built. But it will only be done in 2015?! So what?! The students in school between 2010-2015 do not have their supposed student welfare? The teachers may be fine with it because they will teach there for years, but we, students, only have 2 years in school. It is not very fair that our future generation get it and we don't. It may sound selfish but if they want to have welfare, they have to think it in a student's perpective.

The most ridiculous and atrocious is the issue about banning drinks (include bottle drinks) into the courts. I was trembling when I went up to talk about it. This really shows that Dr ___ is not putting himself in our shoes and the CCA groups' shoes. I said it is not possible that we do not bring drinks in because it is necessary for us who are training to hydrate ourselves. What rubbish is he talking whhen he asked me to promise that the basketball team will keep the courts clean. We aint the ones dirtying it. That is our training ground. It is like our home to us, why will we do it? The worse part is when he tried to force me to take his idea that the court should be like our room, it is our duty to ensure that we wouldnt allow people to dirty our room. How about this? If he use the analogy, well, I wouldnt allow people into my room if I know they will mess it up. Just like how about banning the lunchtime group to go in. It is impossible. Even he himself says that it is not possible for him to only allow the CCA groups to bring drinks in and not the others. He just doesnt get it. What I actually mean, as in I cant just shoot him right in front of the whole school right, is that banning drinks in is not feasible and it is so temporary. Even in economics there is this thing about banning the good only if the cost outweigh the benefit by a lot. Well, for this, the littering problem is everywhere in school, for the courts, it affects us, the CCA groups. Not like he uses the court. Sharlene was right to shoot that it is only some black sheeps that are causing these problem and it is extremely unfair for him to punish everyone just for it. Since he doesnt play sport, I am sorry, the all for one, one for all spirit doesnt apply here. Even the whole cohort said yes so loudly when he asked if the request for me, representing the basketball team, to promise that the team has to assure that we will keep the courts clean is unreasonable. The solution does not solve anything at all. The court has a no food and drinks sign but does anyone care? He is just desperate to find something to solve it. Sorry, it doesnt work this way. So am I right to say, if we dont have the drinks, we will just dehydrate and die there. I am serious the water cooler is so far away. If only they build water coolers to each court. But even I know that it is not feasible and did not suggest such lame ideas. How could he suggest such a everyone including teachers agree that the suggestion that will never work out?!

It just boils down to individual responsibility. Face it. There is not solution to littering, unless he wants to be like the government, give summons and do community service. It requires so much manpower, do we have???

I was quite shock when my Civics tutor said it was right of me to rebuke him cause normally the teachers do not say much about such things. Since it is a student forum, we should suggest things that really benefits the student welfare. Even the PE director seemed to not agree with Dr ___. I was stunned when he asked me over just to say I am brave to voice out my thoughts. To be honest, I was just talking to Cherynn and Eeling, I was only hesitating to go or not but when I stood up, I got called to say what I was going to. Man! I was trembling real hard. At first is because I was scared, after that was because Dr ___ just dont seemed to get the point that every other people understand. Luckily, Sharlene backed me up (although she said her class wrongly haha!), I was already going to walk of because I know this conversation will go nowhere so either I walk off or I go really agressive about it. Fortunately, Sharlene gave me a plan C. Haha!

P cube (POST PROMO PARTYING)

2010-10-09T12:10:00.000+08:00

Promos have ended, well, quite badly. The math paper was horrible. No wonder they say just aim for a C. I screwed up my Econs case study last question with cause me 12 marks. I approach the question in a macro way instead of micro. Then, I only realised I did not do the whole E-field question until the last 30 seconds before time is up, for Physics. Chemistry was a rather ok paper. I didnt find myself making any blunder for it yet and I hope there will not be. Lastly, GP, I am never good at it. Whatever, just promote me. PLEASE!

Yesterday, after the paper, was balling time. After so long, I still get knocked down by Nicole. My butt still hurts. She charged into me and made me fall on my butt. Poor me! That was the OMG moment. The funniest was when.... This is embarrassing. Nicole took a shot and she missed, I jumped up so high to grab the rebound. It looks at as though I was going to get it already. Guess what. It slipped out of my hands, bounced between my legs, and back into Nicole's hand. EMBARRASSING!!!! And we played a bunch of lame things (I suggest one). We took free throw shots while sitting down and see who got in most shots.

We waited very long for MW because he wanted to talk to us about the taiwan trip. Expensive and a lot of trouble leh! Cause, he made us wait so long, so he drove the 6 of us to The Revenue House. We squeeze like mad. After that, we go Nihon Mura to eat high tea buffet. We ordered so much extra food. We eat and eat and eat. The whole table wasnt even enough to put all our food. Then, after eating, we gossiped and gossiped.

After,all the eating, we took a 15 minutes walk back to my house. All of them thought I was mad because I still bought char siew bao home. Like 10 of it. We played my piggy game and mahjong. My house was quite pathetic. Things were everywhere and there was nothing to offer them. They only had plain water to drink. By the time my dad bought drinks, they were about to leave. Cherylin won like 2-3 times, really beginner's luck. haha! Lynn too!

PE: SOCCER SESSION 2

2010-09-29T18:47:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I had PE lesson. Wa! Damn dangerous! The field was very slippery. There was once, when Maria and I were chasing after the ball. I was behind her, so she fell down. After she fell, I was still behind her. I was already shuffling my legs. She fell right in front of me. I had no choice. Either I fall on her or I dive. So to save her, I dive forward so that I will not land on her. I dive and got my whole body on the floor. My part of my PE shirt was covered in mud. I lay flat on the ground. And because I dive, I got scratches on my thigh and my whole shorts was muddy.
That was the fall part. Other than that, it was fun! I scored a hat trick. First one with my left leg! I even assist Yong Rui a goal! I crossed a pass and he went straight for a goal. For Jie Rong 2nd goal, we did great team work. We made many passes then with a perfect chance, he scored! Jie Rong assisted 2 goals to me. He kept diving. So fake! I don't like the way Chieh Loong play, he was way too aggressive for a class game.

2010-09-23T17:58:00.000+08:00

Stress out! It is work after work after work! Economics, Math, Physics and Chemistry. I keep doing and doing exercises. Shit!

2010-09-18T22:50:00.000+08:00

I cant believe that there will actually be a day that I studied Econs for the whole day! So unbelievable! Miss Ng will be so proud of me. (My Ass! I skipped a lot of remedials and extra lessons.) I was searching for a show the whole might. That means now. It seemed to be quite funny but I cant find it online. I think it had been removed due to copyright issues. My tudou had been removing a lot of shows. That time I want to watch Gong Xin Ji but they remove it already! Crap! Tell me where can I find shows anywhere. I tried my best already! So sad! I just wanna watch some dumb comedy so that I can be entertained. But now, I am even more frustrated. After all the studying, I cant even get to enjoy my shows. So pek chek to search and search yet nothing comes out. What's worse is my firefox super shitty! It keeps creating problems. The IE is worse. OMG! Can someone tell me what browser to use? A good one and most programmes are supported by it. OK.. I can only think of IE. But the shit thing is IE sucks big time!!!!

2010-09-16T20:11:00.000+08:00

Instead of being extremely stressed over my studies, I am more stressed about the team. I have to clear this first. I don't hate anyone. If I hate, I won't care. As simple as that. Now, the whole unit is having a major problem. Sometimes, I just feel like a failure. It is partly my fault that everything is this way. Maybe I am just not that kind person. I just cannot be tactful with my words. It is not my style. It doesn't work with what I think. I am frank because I don't like to hide things. If I have to be selective in my words, the degree, the intention may be different. When I blunt and honest, I know I will offend people, but it also means I treat you like a friend, I don't want you to assume anything. Just take the words and it is how it means.

If problems are brain stimulators, I rather be dumb forever. If growing up is not to tell the truth, I rather not grow up. If being friendly is to be fake, I rather not be friendly. I just want to be myself. If I change, then, I wouldn't be me anymore. If you don't like my style, then just zip up and leave me alone. I grow up learning that how I treat others, they will treat me the same way. I am truthful to you, so be truthful to me. Netwon's third law, action-reaction pair.

I am just me. I am no 超人

Dream

2010-09-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

Everything feels like a dream. My JC life up till now feels like a dream. It all went too fast. From, orientation to now, PVSP & MAF (muff), all seems to pass so quickly.

Anyway, PVSP to me was fun, exciting and tiring ttm. The most tiring thing was to run up and down the stairs leading to the hall from the court. OMG! My calf muscles are going to cramp. Haha! So glad we did not play against Xiao Hui for the first match, although we still play them in finals, never mind, Nicole was the one defending. I played captain's ball too! So fun being the one standing up there! I was quite scared in case I fall down and die or something. Fortunately, I did not. I started out defending. Hey! We won the game. But subsequently, we lost 2 matches but somehow, we got into the semi finals. We lost the semis and third and fourth. Man! They have so many guys playing, we only had 2. For bball, we owe it all to the guy's team. Henry helped us play, Zhou Kai and Chen Xu too. Chen Xu sort of helped up win the finals. Haha! We need people to match up to the guys. So when we played against Sharon team, Zhou Kai vs the other guys and Nicole and I just played inside. OWNAGE! So bad! Haha! The ones defending were Sharon and Jie Min (Jamie after that).
We invited Xiao Hui to ouur favourite hideout. Squash court. We started to crap and ended up in a conversation of ghost encounters. OMG! We all got freaked out.
Then was Henry's Birthday Surprise. It was more of a shock than surprise. They poured Hershey over his head and made each other lick his face. YUCK! GUYS!
Last was MAF. It was quite fun when Lynn started to be a little wrong in the head and doing the hi-five thingy and shouting, screaming. We all ended up a little cranky. We shouted some potato potato salad??? And a lot of rubbish, like who being burden, Nicole likes WL and more. We fight, we shout, we laugh, we play. Of course! We took photos! It was a pity that I forgot to bring my camera, it was the best day to take photos. I had to use my lousy photo camera and others' camera. So now the photos are everywhere.

Now, the day has ended. Looking back, it seemed like a dream. I remember some parts vividly, but I forgot some unimportant stuffs. The most important thing was the times I shared with the team. Well, of course, not only with them, but the guys and the netball team too. Sometimes I wish it will continue forever, I wish I can have this dream again. But it isnt a dream. My life will not rewind. Even if there is a same event in future, it will not be the same. And now, it is time for me to wake up from this dream. My life was never so exciting, I need to get back to my work, my studies. That reminds me I haven't been studying much. Promos is just 3 weeks away. I hope I can get promoted and do well in the exam. Hopefully, it will be better than block test.

2010-09-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Found an old show. But it is very nice! 倩女幽魂

烦

2010-09-05T21:35:00.001+08:00

Promos are approaching. So worrying! I am always not in the mood to study and it is so hard for me to focus. How? I need to start revising but I am not even done with all my present works! What is worse is that I was sleeping during tutorials and skipping the lectures?! I am so scared that I wouldnt be able to finish my revision before promos start. Hopefully I can secure one A with my math. As for GP, I just want a D. For physics and Chemistry, a C or D will be sufficient. All these are not so bad. I may not know everything but I still know I can range between a C to U. The most worrying is my Economics. Despite putting the most effort in it, I got a feeling I will U it again. Damn!

Then it is school. OMG! YunZhen, Charmaine, Cherynn and I are always eating during breaks! Haha! We keep going to the canteen and we are always buying food. The only time we are not eating, we will be playing. Most of the time we play with Lynn and Liyi. It is time we start mugging during breaks! We skipped Chemistry lecture because we are late, we skipped Economics lecture because we dont feel like going. (Yun Zhen and Cherynn went in after camwhoring a while. )

Lastly, it is about the team. So troublesome. There is always a long term problem and the short term problems. The long term problem is getting worse when I was hoping it can resolve without us giving pressure. The short term problems are just increasing in quantity. We spot the problems but we cant solve it. How irritating. Sometimes I am really skeptical about getting champion next year. We are not the strongest individuals already. We must all work together, but at this rate... Everyone seems to have a high hurdle in front of each of us. The worst part is not many have the courage, the confidence to overcome it. 输人不输阵. But we dont even have the appropriate mentality or morale there. Maybe it is due to promos, maybe it is just too early. But sometimes, I just dont see our passion in it already. Just want us to improve and be citius, altius, fortius.

2010-08-26T20:36:00.000+08:00

My YOG duties have ended on Monday. I watched the finals and was a little disappointed that USA girls did not win the gold medal. I think they deserved it more than the China team. They were evidently stronger in terms of teamwork and skills. The semi finals was horrible as the referee made many bad calls and did not make a lot of obvious calls. He was obviously giving it to the Australians. I felt so sad for Kiah and Andraya when I saw them crying. I understand the feeling of losing it when it was almost yours already. Furthermore, this is about their national pride.

I am struggling with all the heavy workload now. I am going to die with all the tutorials crashing down and I still had to revise for Promos. Dudes! Did you are realise that we are only about a month away from it?! I seriously need to mug like hell. I have to finish the tutorials first before I get super lost during tutorials (very lost already).

I am watching the Closing Ceremony now. Hope I can see the basketball teams on TV! I saw the China team, Singapore team, Germany team and Australian team. Where is team USA and team Spain? I really hope the athletes have enjoyed their time in Singapore although Singapore is just malls after malls and malls. We don't really have anything to show but I am sure their experience here is unique. They get to be a part of history, a part of the FIRST ever YOG. Hey! How come I don't get to get the flowers for volunteers?! Haha! Never mind. My experience as a volunteer is enough for me. I enjoyed my days as a volunteer too. I learnt new things too. Skills, tactics and values all, there are just too many things to be listed down. Although I have to catch up a lot of work, there are things that academics and school cannot give me that the YOG has given me.

2010-08-19T14:59:00.000+08:00

It had been some days since I last blogged. For the past 5 days, I had been working as a volunteer for the YOG basketball. It was so tiring registering all the statistics from 9 to 1pm and it is not like the food is fantastic or what. The best incentives are I can watch most of the matches and have close up view of all the athletes (including photo taking:)).

Spain's Lluis Costa and Mikel Motos are both very cute! But I prefer Lluis Costa. Haha! I had been supporting Spain since the first day. We saw them on Friday as they were the last team to train on the day. They played 3 on 3 for the official to try out the equipments and for us to train and try out the equipments too. I was working on the Spain's main team statistics.

I took a photo with Lluis Costa on Monday! Haha! They played the last match so I had a lot of time to ask him to take a photo with me. On Tuesday, I took a photo with the whole Spain team and Lynn took with Mikel Motos and the whole Spain team. That day Spain beat Philipines, I guess that was why Sharlene didnt take with them. Anyway she wants Jabez to help her exchange jersey with Lluis Costa. Yesterday, Qian Tong and Lynn spammed photos with quite some athletes and with Mikel Motos too! Jealous! Haha! They took with Canada no. 6. I didnt get to take a photo with her today because she was rushing off for her bus.

Today was Henry and my turn! We took with Lithuania and USA guys team. I took with Russia no.2 too! And the whole Czech Republic team too! I cannot upload most of the photos as it is in Lynn's camera! I took with Andraya Carter too! She is so friendly! When we finished taking, she asked," Is it good?" I said yes and thanked her. She was like," Of course it's good!" She is so cute! Kiah Stokes is also very friendly too. At first, I wanted to take with the whole USA girls team. She was saying wait for a while, as there was a lot of primary school kids asking for their signature. Since she finished signing, I asked to take with her. She took with Nicole and I. Then, she asked if we wanted to take with the whole USA team, that includes the guys team. The Nicole la! She said something like that will be good. They were all so busy! Still have to trouble Kiah Stokes to ask all of them. I am sure if they take with me and Nicole, the kids will asked too. I hope Saturday, Sunday or Monday I will be able to get a photo with Canada no. 6 and Emmanuel from Greece.

The USA girls and guys match were both spectacular! Kiah Stokes played so well. She is such a good centre! She is my role model from now on. Andraya Carter will be my role model for vertical leap. If I can get a vertical leap like hers, I will be able to grab lots more rebound and block shots like mad! Block Hannah! Haha!

The USA guys almost lost to Central Africa. They were losing by the end of the first half. If CAF did not had 2 fouled out, they might be able to beat the hot favourites. Now, USA will face Spain. Gosh! Spain will lose! As for the girls, I don't think there is any team that can match USA.

Yesterday, Singapore had a good game against USA. Even though the guys lost, I am proud of them! Jabez and Russel played well!

I don't wanna be ill

2010-08-10T08:53:00.000+08:00

I am feeling really sick now. I am like coughing in every 1 minute and when I swallow my throat feels like it is burning up. My fever is coming now and then. Because I blow my nose so hard, so many times then even my ear hurts. My whole head is so heavy!

2010-08-08T19:44:00.000+08:00

It had been quite some days since I last blogged. I am down with fever, flu, sore throat and muscle ache now. Craps! Had a tiring week! I haven't used the computer for like 4 days!
On friday, I had my GEMS. It was rather fun. Yun Zhen cant iceskate for nuts! haha!!! Anyway, after that we went to kbox. I never sang so many english songs in kbox before. And I only sang 3 Jay Chou's songs :( so few huh.
Yesterday, I went for the supposedly flash mob (more like just mass dance la) It was so dumb! The dance was so lame!

I need a break

2010-07-26T19:05:00.000+08:00

I had to go to school myself today. With that lame leg of mine, I had to chase after a bus so that I will not be late. What made worse was the rain.

I tried all my tricks some failed and some succeed. I want to learn more of it. I am over with being a hardworking kid and doing all my tutorials. I am sick of my tutorials. I am tired with all the project work stuff. I need to start enjoying life!

OK. I think I lack enough sleep that is why I talking rubbish. I was supposed to have enough sleep but the messages woke me up. Without enough sleep, I really feel like dying.

There is more for me to suffer. I have to go to Hola Centre tomorrow for the interview. Hope it will be smooth. After we sort of offended the person, I am quite afraid if we screw it up.

BACK TO MAGIC

2010-07-25T19:39:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, my sister's boyfriend came to my house. They bought dinner for me. After that, we exchanged card tricks. OMG I haven't touch my card tricks for a year or so. Nvm.. I was still able to perform my disappearring card trick. My trademark! Haha! Jason showed me his trademark but refuse to teach me. He loved the gimmicks I have, especially the one that works with ambitious card trick. He showed me the 4 aces trick, hit card trick and one that pass through the table. He even modified my change card trick.

THE MOST UNLUCKY FELLOW ON EARTH - ME

2010-07-24T15:50:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, when I was so excited, going to grab my bag to go run the beep test, I sprained my ankle while running down the stairs. The lame part was when I was trying to get over with the pain and get up, Cheryl and Jaime came over and asked me if I need help. Then, I said don't need but I called Nicole to help me get my bag. Haha! Cheryl was like, " wl we ask you want help anot u call someone else for help." Haha! So, I wasn't able to do the beep test and shooting test. I will have to do alone:(

This is not the worst. I was supposed to go see sinseh today. On the way there, I was having menstrual cramps already. I was hoping I can quickly get over and done with the stupid ankle and go home. Who knows. I had to wait for quite some time. My cramps became worse. When the sinseh was treating me, I was feeling very dizzy. My limbs were numb so I cant really feel the pain from my leg. The sinseh see I almost losing my conscious then suggest my sister send me to hospital. By the time I was leaving, my whole body was numb just my stomach damn pain. I was lying on the floor and I did not have any strength to move. No choice. Had to send me to A&E.

This is the second time I had been to A&E and my first time on a wheerchair. The feeling on wheelchair not bad la! Haha! Got people to chauffeur me around. The doctor prescribed a painkiller and was asking me if I wanted a jab because it will take effect faster. I had a jab in my thigh. It felt damn sore. It was on my injured leg. Luckily it was on that leg, since that leg cannot really move. Now, I am at home. Don't worry I wasnt admitted into the hospital for a night stay or what.

I feel so bad because spent a lot of money taking cab and the consultation fee. The worst is my sister and her boyfriend at first accompany me to sinseh can already but end up have to accompany me hospital and back home. Not only am I a super bright light bulb, I disrupted their dating plans. Never mind at least now they can have dinner together without me being a super bright light bulb. Just have to buy me dinner. Please do not forget if not I will starve to death (wouldnt la1 a lot of food at home). My mum and dad aint here to company me:(

2010-07-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

一波未平一波又起
This is so troublesome. I know it is just me who is thinking a lot and making simple things look really complicated but I can't help it! I really feel this way! The fact is that I am not the only one who feels that way and hopefully the others feel so not because I said so and made them feel so. Even our dear *poke poke poke* who usually don't give much constructive comments is worried about related stuff. I can't help but to get a little more worried.

I got a U for my economics and I was already really very depressed. (things just have to get worse) I was trying to vent all my frustration and it was kind of fail. I just lose the whole stack of my foolscap with almost everything full. All my tutorials are in it. Hopefully tomorrow I can find it back. All my notes are inside too.

I am prepared to talk to *ahem*. I am just waiting and finding the best timing and best way to talk to her. This has to be a success or I am dead.

2010-07-19T17:42:00.003+08:00

I went back to CCH on the bazaar day. I didnt really notice much about the bazaar other than the stuffs are really expensive. I spent 4 hours playing basketball. I just keep jumping and jumping for rebound. It was so tiring. We were supposed to be back to celebrate Coach's birthday but he did not come :( So we finish up the cake for him. Haha!

I did the meanest thing on earth. I sent my pw tutor the evidences that yuhao didnt do much work for pw. I damn hate him! Today in front of Mr Kevin he talked so much crap like I did not inform him about pw and I am not doing enough to get the whole group to do the pw. WTH?! I am like chionging like mad with Cherynn to do the stupid WR. I am slogging like hell and there he just talk crap. Today after crapping all the stuffs, when we are discussing, he didnt offer to help neither did he conttribute any ideas. He was just in a daze. I can accept if he had personal problem and generally his studies cannot make it or his studies is sucky and he is using most of his time to brush up. But his studies is one of the top in the class!!! What personal problems can he be having??? All I can conclude is he mug hard for his subjects and leave all the group stuff to his group members thinking that since they will not want a bad grade they will work hard to cover up his workload. So without much efforts he can get his A. FAT HOPE! I will try ways and means to uncover his evil deeds! Singapore is based on meritocracy. You do your work. You get your reward. You don't do it you don't get your reward.

2010-07-16T23:16:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog about the fitness test and Despicable Me before that. But now, I feel that I have other things to share before I explode.

This is about team. Let me talk about my view of how a team should work. Don't try to stop me from expressing in terms of physics. I find that it is all about forces. Actually, a team is like a simple system. Really simple. The force available are just push and pull. Push is for the individual and pull is by the team. When both works together, it provides the strongest force and the team will accelerate. In short, it is just that the team will improve as a team the fastest.
As an individual, we have to push ourselves to our maximum limit. There is a need to always push yourself to improve and always get better and faster. Just purely by own strength, we can reach our own limit.
To break free from the limit, the team plays a huge part. This is when the pull comes in. For example, when running as a team, there will always be some people who are faster and slower, stronger and weaker. When those in front give a helping hand and pull the slower ones, they will be able to speed up and get to the same pace as those who are faster. With that, there will be tougher competition and this will drive one another to improve to exceed one another (friendly competition). As a whole, the team will improve together.

However, just imagine if the individual is not willing to push herself. Even if the whole team tries to pull her along, there will not be much effects. Furthermore, this will impede the team's improving rate, being the team's burden. Or the other way, the team does not offer any help and just do individual improvements. It will lengthen the time to improve oneself compared to the team poviding assistance.

Ok... It did not end up sounding like some physics theory. Please do not infer that this is because my team has big problem that is why I am writing this rubbish. NO! I just happen to thought of this when I was looking at my forces notes.

2010-07-13T16:24:00.000+08:00

I was just this close to losing my phone. I left my phone in the toilet when changing. How careless can I get? I lose it for like 2 hours before I realised it was gone. I was like running around searching for it during Chemistry tutorial. I totally had no mood for tutorial. I keep moaning and groaning, hoping that the phone will find its way back to me. I asked Cherynn to keep calling my dear phone and praying that someone will pick it up and return to me. Luckily, after lessons, Lynn answered the call. I was so relieved. It was Sharlene's friend who found it. Thank god!!!!

Yesterday, someone opened the locker and forget to lock it up. Gosh! MW then messaged me to find out who was it. Apparently, no one opened it. (wa seh got ghost) Hopefully is Eeling, Nicole or Sara who opened it and left it open if they did come back to get anything. If not, it means that someone gave the combination to others or someone hacked the lock. This will be more troublesome.

2010-07-10T11:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we put up the noticeboard. They were supposed to help me. Damn angry! Especially the Nicole! She pon the talk and came. I thought she was going to help but who knows.. She came and then go and sleep!!! End up I have to get Charmaine and Cherynn to help me. After that, Cherylin came out to help me with the board. NOT BAD LEH! Just that everyone says that the achievement part looks like the guys got 5th and the girls got 3rd and only 1 champion. So we have to change it.

MW a bit sot diao. He almost gave us 3 trainings a week. Wa! Off season period need so hiong ma!!!???!!! Then there is this fitness test. Hopefully, I am still fit enough to do all the stuff.

Damn! I got a lot of stuff to do this weekend. I have to complete the PIP. You will just keep seeing me in the video. After doing the PIP, I have to do parts of my PW. After doing PW, I have to do the stretching project. So sad!

My sister came back from Taiwan after half a month. She bought me some cool stuffs! A earphone and my favourite! My favourites are the notebooks that look like martial art manual in front but actually are notebooks.

2010-07-02T21:53:00.002+08:00

What a high day today!
We met at 1.15pm to go party world. We were so hyped up way before that. They were already singing on the way as warm up. Haha! So funny right?! We had the room to sing for 4 hours. We started by singing 爱我别走. We had all the very slow songs at the start. We sang all the emo songs through the whole song. Not much high songs at all. Some songs also like going to cry like that. After a while of warming up, we had a bit of high songs. We got to sing a SHORT list of JAY chou's songs and wang LEEHOM's songs. We started by a list of songs from just one singer, after that was a list of HOTTEST hits.
After a while, we started a our mini concert by standing on the sofa. They finally know why sometimes I do certain actions. (imitating Jay Chou ma!)
对唱s
千里之外 - I had to change to 2 voice for this.
发如雪 - Cherylin decided to postpone her toilet break for this song
Mr. Q - Lynn dance for the song! We sang twice. One was after Nicole came. We were shouting the rap.
今天你要嫁给我 - Lynn dance this first and got her so high and dance Mr. Q
恋爱ing - Sing and jump till breathless
霍元甲 - 霍 and 我 so loud till the kitchen can hear us (that was what the waiter said right?)
一个像秋天一个像夏天 - Qian Tong wants this to be team song.
第一天 - Specially save it till Nicole came. We were bouncing like mad.
遗失的美好 - No one in the team can reach the key, we all fail. (Unless Cheryl or the J2s can reach)
新不了情 - Wa! The mv damn old
精武门 - I sort of dance and Qian Tong thought I know the dance. I just anyhow fake la!
and many more...
It is just so hard to tell how fun it was. We had videos for some of the part just watch it in FB.
After that we watch Toy Story 3. Hmmm! Not bad! The ending Spanish dance by Buzz ALMOST as entertaining as LYNN dancing.

我是谁我是谁我是谁

2010-07-01T23:13:00.002+08:00

我是谁你是否常常这样问自己
我是谁总是活在别人的期望里
我是谁是谁又擅自帮你定义了
你是谁只有不是自己才安全
为什麽你以为这个世界很美丽
为什麽你爱这个世界胜过爱自己
为什麽这个世界不给你平等待遇
为什麽到底做错了什麽
朋友都说你太太太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑笑笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很很很简单
不过就是最普通的的的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看
无论他们又说什麽闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
会不会上帝把你的灵魂放错了身体
会不会是故意整你不是不小心
会不会你常常都觉得力不从心
会不会坚持要做自己太危险
凭什麽难道比较特别就是不对
凭什麽先下了注解在认识之前
凭什麽只不过想认真的活一遍
凭什麽随便就把人定罪
我是谁这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
我是谁我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽

Dream. Pride. Life

CNY end

CNY

Emo night

Probably the last post of 2011

Orientals

AFTER Asss

Lines that express my feeling

1st December

Coming to an end

Unlucky but lucky day

Mine Mine

Centre of my world

In the midst of studying

明天以后

Graduation Video 10S61

Post Prelims



PVSP AND AIDEN'S BIRTHDAY

Can't seem to focus (9/9/11)

New laptop!!!

car accident

Last schooling Friday after school

Cruel but reality

Bus ride

每天爱你多一些

Daily boring life

Another of my rest day

How about giving me some luck?

Feels like Post Blocks

Feel my wrath!

Staying in my little shell

Maybe someday...

2 years in the 2 HCBBG team

Time to retire

The feel

GE

What is your greatest fear?

<3

Purest of Pain

爱你 躲你

15 April

FML

After blocks!

Training camp itself

Training camp

A level results

想回到過去

dream

Mug hard!

Another hectic week

CNY Eve

Pre CNY

Crap

New Phone

Masks

Too tired

The Last Post of 2010(I accidentally posted it at 0000 instead of 2359 it became my 1st post of 2011)

LOST

Another post on my thoughts

选择

我喜欢，不我爱

我喜欢，不我爱 - 严爵

Just a beginning

Feelings

Worst bus experiences

Elva Hsiao - 错的人

Bits and pieces of life

Team Day

STUDENT FORUM

P cube (POST PROMO PARTYING)

PE: SOCCER SESSION 2

Dream

烦

I don't wanna be ill

I need a break

BACK TO MAGIC

THE MOST UNLUCKY FELLOW ON EARTH - ME

我是谁 我是谁 我是谁

爱你躲你

我是谁我是谁我是谁